Ex-posed: A Place to Heal and Share

Will your story inspire others? Do you want to make a difference in the lives of others?

EX-POSED was created by husband and wife Erika and Cedric's journey from trauma and pain to healing and hope.It is a platform used to share their personal story and provide a safe place for anyone who might have a story to tell. 

"Whether you are at the beginning of your process, or have the wisdom of years behind you and can share your encouragement with others, this is the place for you."

To find our more check out the website here.

Uplifting Reads with Phil Mitchell Part 2

Welcome to Part 2 of the Phil Mitchell Long Beach Book Tour 

13. Have you written a book you love that you have not been able to get published? 

No.

14. Can you tell us about your upcoming book? 

No plans.

15. Is anything in your book based on real life experiences or purely all imagination? 

The whole book is based on real life experiences.

16. What was your favorite chapter (or part) to write and why?  

The quote that “God will touch you and mold you like a moving orchestra”  is my favorite part.  I can’t explain what it is like to write a symphony knowing God moved your hands over the piano or to explain something that is incredible that you saw.  You just don’t come out the same person after seeing something like that.  You don’t walk through the world a lone.  There is strong presence wherever you go.

17. How did you come up with the title? 

My friend who inspired me had a company called Intimate Creations.  He gave me a mug for coffee.   This book is about my closeness with God.

18. What project are you working on now? 

Marketing my book.

19. Will you have a new book coming out soon? 

No

20. Are there certain characters you would like to go back to, or is there a theme or idea you’d love to work with? 

I would like to spend more time on writing about prayer.  Every time you say a prayer you come to God with a heart that is closer.  Something happened and you can’t wait for your next conversation.

21. What has been the toughest criticism given to you as an author? What has been the best compliment? 

I need to find more avenues to get my book out.  People say I come up with good stories and quotes.  I just tell them it is my faith.

22. Do you have any advice to give to aspiring writers? 

Write from your heart and journey.  It is much like putting a song together.

23. Is there anything that you would like to say to your readers and fans? 

This is a book that you should pray with and reflect on your own journey.  There is a spiritual battle going on between good and evil.  You don’t always see it all the time.  The state of your soul is very important.

24. What brought you to write this book?  

People will now know if God exists if we don’t tell them our story.  The book is a guide for the spiritual life.  I actually met a co-worker who prayed every morning before work.  I later found out he had cancer and he wanted to spend the rest of his life bringing his faith to others.  He helped encourage me to write the book.

25. Why spend years of your life writing it? 

God has given me a lot of inspiration and words in my life that I needed to share with others.

26. What are you trying to achieve with this book?  

Help people in their spiritual life or on their pilgrimage.

27. What got left out in the final draft? 

I came up with another quote that “Miracles bring life to the journey.”  Jesus had over 30 miracles happen in his life. His journey was very important. Why do some people have miracles and other don’t?  I believe it depends on your journey. I met a priest who was cured from 3 brain tumors.  A miracle happened and I told him my quote.  He loved it.  You just don’t know who you will meet on the journey and encounter God’s presence.

28. Where there alternate endings you considered 

No.

29. What’s next for you? What are you working on now? 
I am working on becoming a better public speaker

Thank you for joining us for the Long Beach stop. If you would like to keep in touch with Phil, please visit his website Uplifting Reads: Intimacies with God

Be sure to follow Phil on Pintrest https://www.pinterest.com/morningstar_pm/

Uplifting Reads with Phil Mitchell Part 1

Welcome to the Long Beach, CA stop on the Phil Mitchell book tour. 

1. Can you tell us a little bit about yourself? 

I am a composer, author, and musician.

2. What do you do when you are not writing? 

I am a musician and composer of 3 albums.

3. Do you have a day job as well?  

I am a teacher and CDL Driver.  I enjoy being with kids and talking to passengers.

 4. When did you first start writing and when did you finish your first book? 

2009

 5. How did you choose the genre you write in?  

Things in my life evolve around my faith.

 6. Where do you get your ideas? 

Seeking the truth and what God shows me.

7. Do you ever experience writer’s block? 

Yes, it is not easy coming up with the right words on a quote.  What is God saying?  Do these words reflect how he sees the world?

8. Do you work with an outline, or just write? 

I just write.

9. Is there any particular author or book that influenced you in any way either growing up or as an adult? 

I have read all the spiritual classics but also enjoy all the great books.

10. Can you tell us about your challenges in getting your first book published? 

Not easy, you have to be an established author first.

11. If you had to go back and do it all over, is there any aspect of your novel or getting it published that you would change? 

No, it was important to me to have the book available to everyone.

12. How do you market your work? What avenues have you found to work best for your genre? 

You have to be knowledgeable of social networking.

Join us for Part 2 here

31 Days to a Simple Life the Amish Way

A common question now in America....How can I become Amish? 

"Answer: If you admire our faith, strengthen yours. If you admire our sense of commitment, deepen yours. If you admire our community spirit, build your own. If you admire the simple life, cut back. If you admire deep character and enduring values, live them yourself." 

Karen talks about how this 31 day guide to simplicity will discuss the Amish ways of frugality, downsizing, ideas for gatherings, keeping in pace with nature and much more. After thirty years, she's still gleaning secrets to a simpler life from her Amish friends.  She says, "I can see why "off the gridders" to spiritual enthusiasts are flocking to them for plain and simple advice. I'm so blessed to have learned so much from the Amish. I hope you'll be inspired as you read this book, finding a path a bit less chaotic."

Check out 31 Days to a Simple Life The Amish Way on Amazon now.

Karen Anna Vogel is an Award-winning author of a dozen Amish books, including the popular Amish Knitting Circle Series. 

New Christian Apparel: Walk By Faith

Have you heard of WALK BY FAITH?  

Walk By Faith is an independently owned Christian brand located in Northern Wisconsin. There goal is to incorporate a fun, positive and inspiring message from the word of God on your apparel. Even though Walk By Faith is a Christian based company, they design apparel with everyone in mind. They want every person of all ages to be united with a fun constructive message on their apparel.

Now, I love to great t-shirt. It allows you to be comfortable, while still sharing your personality with those who pass by. Christian fashion has really come a long way. 

So, check out WALK BY FAITH you're sure to find something that fits your personality.  

Happy shopping!

P.S. I thought this HOPE t-shirt in pink would be great to wear in October for Breast Cancer Awareness Month. #ISurvivedBreastCancer

So What is Narcissism Anyway?

People talk about narcissism all the time, but many people don't really know what it is. Watch this video -- it's cute, entertaining, and informative.  Enjoy!

The God Who Sees Me: Single Moms of the Bible and Their Lessons For Today

Being a Mom is something I take pride in -- something I love. I know that it's my responsibility to give my family the best that can 110% of the time -- and I know you want that for your family as well -- so I read, alot. Reading is a good habit that I picked up from my mother. She could read a novel in a weekend, or overnight if need be. Many times, you'll find I share book suggestions -- take a look, maybe you'll find something that interests you.

This time I found The God Who Sees Me: Single Moms of the Bible and Their Lessons For Today by Stephanie Paul on Amazon (I looove Amazon if you haven't figured it out yet).  It is geared for the single mom, but I believe a good book can be loved by all. When it comes to being a great parent everyone should take heed to good advive. 

You'll be reminded of how God cared for three single mothers; Hagar, the widow in Zarephath, and the widow with the oil. If God will provide for them, then surely, He will provide for you, too.  Take a moment to check this book out -- I think you'll like it. 

Healing From the Loss of a Loved One

Whenever I find a "good read" I like to pass it on to you. You've seen this book on my list before but this time it's to congratulate and encourage you to pick up a copy.

Path to Peace, A Guide to Managing Life After Lossing a Loved One by Angie Ransome-Jones, has made a bit of a stir since last we talked. Coming in a top places on Amazon it is making a difference in the lives of those looking to heal. You may be thinking -- can reading a book really make it better?  Yes.

When you're able to settle your mind, when you're able to take a moment and concentrate on the things around you -- that is the time to read this book.  When you're able to grasp the comforting words and receive the love, that is the time when you will start to heal.

Get your copy of Path to Peace, A Guide to Managing Life After Losing a Loved One by Angie Ransome-Jones for yourself - for someone who needs it. You'll be glad you did.

Change Your Thoughts Change Your World

With the overwhelming success of the first edition, Change Your Thoughts, Change Your World proved to be a valuable tool in showing readers how every area of life is based on perspective, and how a different mindset can drastically improve both the present and the future. 

Listen in as Bishop Jefferson tells us more about the book. 

Pick up your copy of the book on Amazon.com

Teen Missionary Needs Your Help

Help Break The Cycle of Poverty and Hopelessness in Madagascar

It's not everyday that you meet a teenager that understand helping others is an awesome way to live one's life. While many are trying to master the newest video game Ryan Vance see another way to enjoy his life --by giving back.

Ryan has a YouCaring page (it's like GoFundMe, or Indiegogo) that I think you should check it out. He'll tell you even more about the trip, what they will do, and how it will help the people of Madagascar.  

Many times you can't get to remote places and help yourself, but you can help those that are able -- this is that time.  Please visit  https://www.youcaring.com/ryan-vance-teen-missions-553861 to find out how you can help. 

Every donation helps!

Do You Suffer From Election Stress Disorder?

Do You Suffer From Election Stress Disorder?

Politics in the wrong part of the brain

National elections are tough times for those of us with a bi-partisan nature. They’re even worse for therapists who try to help people access the Adult brain under stress. (That’s the prefrontal cortex, which regulates impulses and carries out our more profound and humane cognitive functions.) Staying in the Adult brain consistently is hard enough during non-election years. Under stress, the Toddler brain (emotional, all-or-nothing, “Mine! No!”) hijacks the Adult brain, impairing its ability to take other perspectives, weigh evidence, see nuance, plan for the future, and create value and meaning. The Toddler brain is highly susceptible to emotional contagion; toddlers take on whatever negative emotions are around them, as any parent who has been tense or irritable near one can attest.

It seems that in every election, poles remind us that the public is fed up with negative campaigning and endless, misleading advertising. We're appalled at the costs of election cycles, which doubles that of the Civil War, with a duration that exceeds America’s participation in World War I. The military words, "campaign" and “war chest” aptly describe political contests; the first casualty in war and politics is truth.

The maelstrom of the current election has been personal for me, as my dearest friends are at opposite sides of the political spectrum. My inbox is bombarded by negative points about the policies and characters of both candidates. Passionate arguments that would not, to be kind, pass peer review on their merits are put forth by good and bright people.

I understand that certainty is an emotional, not an intellectual state that requires limiting the amount of information considered. And of course political campaigns are designed to exploit bias rather than expose it. Still, I wonder how candidates can seem entirely certain about enormously complex problems. Well, I shouldn’t wonder. Few endeavors can be more stressful than running for president. Under stress most of us retreat to the Toddler brain, where we fall prey to all-or-nothing thinking and employ the Toddler coping mechanisms of blame, denial, and avoidance.

Part of my election stress disorder may be due to the fact that I'm vastly overworked. National elections jam-pack our boot camps for couples who suffer from resentment, anger, or emotional abuse. Many people download the negativity of their environment and take it out on the closest people to them. A web of emotion connects us all, and did so long before the Internet became its national conduit. Political campaigns set the web of emotion ablaze with negativity.

My great hope is that one day politicians will embrace an inconvenient truth. To make the country stronger, we must be compassionate to the people closest to us, respect the people we encounter, tolerate differences among all people, and allow a little light to spread through the web of emotion. We either send out respect and good will from the Adult brain or download resentment and anger into the Toddler brain.

Original article here

Parents Misled by Cry-It-Out Sleep Training Report

Darcia Narvaez Ph.D.Moral Landscapes

Parents Misled by Cry-It-Out Sleep Training Report

How to connect the dots on sleep training

*First author is Angela Braden, journalist at Science Mommy(link is external)

Mainstream parenting media are asserting once again that the cry-it-out sleep paradigm is harmless to babies—this time in the form of a two-paragraph morsel as one of the “sleep myths” Parents magazine “sets straight” in “Rest Assured” (July 2014 issue). The myth is listed as “crying it out is bad for your baby” and goes on to conclude that au contraire, “whatever sleep training method feels most comfortable for you is just fine.” Never mind how the baby feels. “Just fine”? Yikes! Parents typically does an excellent job educating and supporting parents to raise healthy, happy kids. But alarm bells went off for us when we read this lapse.

Fortunately, most parents will feel decidedly uncomfortable leaving their baby to “cry-it-out,” since their natural response is to soothe and keep a baby calm. In fact, methods that leave the baby to cry are less effective in the home than is documented in sleep labs(link is external).

Unfortunately, over 2 million Parents readers have just been told that leaving babies to cry to the point of distress and beyond—to the point of potential neurological damage (Lyons, 2000)—has been proven safe and even that it’s proper childrearing (See prior post. For more studies showing the damaging effects of elevated cortisol, see Lyons, 200, Bremner, 1998, and MecEwen, 2003). It does this by ending with the prolific, misconception that has justified this practice for decades: “[Your baby] needs to learn the important lifelong skills of self-soothing and falling asleep on his own.” Nothing could be further from the truthfor a baby.

As Parents magazine did in this case, media reports notoriously and misleadingly back up cry-to-sleep (CIO) advice with a single flawed study. In this case, the editor approved conclusions that crying-it-out is safe based on a study of babies who didn’t, in fact, cry-it-out—not in terms of what all the major sleep-training books recommend or the common understanding of the term.

This Parents piece exemplifies the glaring mistakes made regularly among reporters on cry-it-out as well as sleep training generally. Such failures lead parents to make decisionsbased on misinformation. Worse, these reporting failures lead our society at large, including non-parents, to think it’s “just fine” to leave babies in distress. This unscientific attitude is bad for us all—regularly or intensely distressed babies grow into unhappy andstress-reactive (inflexible, self-focused) adults that we all have to live with (Read:Gerhardt,(link is external) 2005).

Here, we outline parenting media’s top factual and logical failures when reporting on this developmentally risky practice.

Points in Brief (read details below):

1. Research does not support what sleep training reports assume:

• That sleep training “is fine” for baby —it’s NOT, even when the baby stops protesting.
• That cry-it-out (extinction of crying) works at home—it does NOT.
• Age and development level of the child does not matter for sleep training. WRONG.
• Research shows no harm for babies—NOT: it doesn’t even examine harm to babies!
• Sleep training research is well done—NOT: poor designs, fidelity, analysis show it is UNRELIABLE.

2. Sleep training reports gloss over the trauma and toxic stress that is done to babies during sleep training, when the brain and body are developing rapidly. Reports overlook how ignoring a baby at night is a form of NEGLECT.

3. Most parents are not comfortable with cry-it-out (extinction of crying) and they should not be. Babies are meant to be with caregivers all the time. Their wellbeing is undermined otherwise.

Here is more detail:

1. Parenting media fail to define “cry-it-out”:

To most people, the term “cry-it-out” has come to mean leaving the baby in the crib until crying stops, however long that takes—a “total extinction” (the scientific term) approach.  

In the study cited(link is external) (Price et al., 2012), for example, parents were actually taught different approaches to train their child to sleep:

 ·       “controlled-crying” (intermittently offering comfort)

·       “camping out” or “fading” (staying with and comforting the baby, gradually less) 

 Fading, in particular, is a far cry from the total extinction experience for the baby (see #5 below on infant trauma).

Yet, despite a flawed, misleading study, millions of Parents readers have been told unequivocally, it is safe to let your baby “cry it out” (total extinction). Otherwise, it would be referred to as just “crying” without the “it out” qualifier.

When parenting media outlets gloss over the nuances of sleep training, which understandably, are difficult to address thoroughly in magazine format, they send parents with full confidence to using total extinction (crying-it-out).

A more balanced approach would include citing the dangers of crying-it-out along-side the flawed study conclusions. The dangers of extensive infant distress are multiple and long term.

2. Parenting media fail to actually read the study(link is external):

Though they would have been wise to point out that the cited study didn’t look at crying-it-out, or total extinction, we can’t blame Parents magazine entirely for their erroneous reporting. The study authors themselves stated that “behavioral methods” for sleep training could be used with confidence. A journalist would have to actually look at the methodology of the study to see that the researchers were using that term broadly, loosely and without scientific merit.

If they did take a peek at the study design, though, they’d be confronted with an even bigger problem: the intervention and control groups had no discernable differences, making it impossible to really measure anything.

The researchers report that they used “Intent To Treat” (ITT) in their study design. This means they have no idea what the parents in either group ultimately did or didn’t do in terms of sleep training. They assume their intervention group followed their proposed sleep-training “treatment,” at least more often than not. They compared apples to apples.

Here’s how:  Their intervention group consisted of parents who were given brief instructions by nurses trained by the researchers in controlled-crying and camping out or fading interventions, the intervention was similar to what happens naturally. Their control group, for comparison, got advice from nurses who the researchers didn’t train in these interventions. (Did you have to reread to catch the difference?) In other words, the control group had normal care, in which the parents were “free to ask for sleep advice” and nurses were free to give the advice they normally would. They were also free to follow the advice of their friends, neighbors, or baby sleep sites on the internet. No wonder the two groups had no significant differences in outcomes, as the study’s findings freely admit: “Behavioral sleep techniques have no marked long-lasting effects (positive or negative)” (Price, 2012).

Amazingly, the researchers draw their “use with confidence” conclusions even though their control group could very well have included total extinction, skewing the results in favor of the intervention group, which was at worst instructed to intermittently soothe their babies. At best, many of the parents in both groups did what their instinct told them to and ignored the nurse’s sleep-training advice.

“Intent To Treat” research design does not make sense when what’s being measured is likely common in the control group as well. It stands to reason, given that all the study participants had reported sleep problems and controlled crying is typically advised in Australia (Gethin & Macgregor, 2009), that the control-group parents would have asked for sleep advice and that the advice they received would be similar to that given to the intervention group. Bottom line: we’ll never know which babies experienced crying-it-out, if any, so how can the researchers possibly justify advising parents accordingly?

In all fairness, journalists generally consider it their job to communicate experts’ voices, so indiscriminate parroting of a study authors’ conclusion is somewhat understandable. However, it would be in the spirit of journalistic accuracy to recognize (again, by looking at the methodology) that the researchers might be overstating their conclusions.

Journalists need to be scientifically literate and educate parents to be also. This would be a real service to their audience.

3. Parenting media fail to account for age and developmental differences:

A journalist who reports on research interventions with children (anyone under age 25), should attend to the age of the children studied because there are different effects of treatment based on age. For example, when doling out sleep training advice to parents, it’s important to note that in the studies that claim sleep training is harmless, babies were 8-10 months old when they may or may not have been left to cry-it-out. But many science reporters and bloggers go ahead and apply the study “results” to “babies” in general, sending parents of far younger, more vulnerable babies running to the sleep training manuals. There, they are instructed to use total extinction. The second author has received many emails from parents who realized later the damage they did when trying cry-it-out with a weeks-old baby.

Journalistic ethics warrants much more careful reading of research reports. This happens in some areas of study but is woefully inadequate for research of risky parenting practices (e.g., baby isolation, no breastfeeding, stranger daycare). More about expert sleep training mistakes here.

If journalists read more studies, they’d see that a better approach would be to educate parents on the natural needs and expectations of babies to be with their caregivers for reasons of growth and comfort.

4. Parenting media fail to recognize the pervasive influence of behavior modification:

Those of us who work directly with real parents in the throes of the first-year and have recently been there ourselves can attest to the prevalence of behavior modification generally and total extinction sleep training specifically. Extinction, either partial (i.e., controlled crying) or total (cry-it-out), is widely recommended by pediatricians and prominent authors. In fact, the American Academy of Sleep Medicine classified behavioral techniques, which includes total extinction, as standard practice for managing “infant sleep problems.”

Please realize:

• All of the infant sleep science upon which behavior modification-based advice isbiased toward “effective” intervention. Effectiveness is based on whether the baby stops crying.

• Sleep training studies are not based on what sleep behaviors are common or developmentally normal. The fallacy is that infant sleep variability (which is normal) is defined as abnormal.

Behaviorism in general has been largely thrown out of psychology circles with regard to normal human beings, because it treats humans like machines. Babies are not machines. They are wonderfully complex, sensitive, dynamic beings who rely on parents’ affection and soothing to develop fully. They need their caregivers nearby. Yet many infant sleep scientists still cling to behaviorism. Then, their act is followed by pro-sleep training studies with invalid conclusions and journalists that extrapolate from there to assert crying-it-out as harmless.

At the same time, the media routinely downplay the role of behaviorist thinking, assuming that parents will use good judgment in carrying out sleep training methods. In doing so they miss that an integral part of the behaviorist approach—the extinction part—specifically requires parents not to use their judgment. For total extinction, they must never “give-in” in order to make their efforts effective in conditioning their baby not to cry. This is the approach the majority of sleep-training books on the parenting shelf promote, to which Parents readers may now turn to in droves.

But even in the loving hands of parents with otherwise good judgment and instincts, the popular baby sleep manuals instruct based on the behavioral conditioning component of cry-it-out. Some of the books start out dealing with gentle ways to encourage sleep; some advise partial extinction or controlled crying; but with few exceptions, they land on: just don’t go back into the nursery . . . no matter how desperate the screaming becomes or how long the baby’s panic state lasts: total extinction.

As an alternative to behaviorist thinking, the second author uses developmentally, neurological, and evolutionarily appropriate baselines for child development to inform parenting advice (see below). And the first author consults parents struggling with infant sleep and soothing(link is external) with these baselines as a guide. There are gentle alternatives to get the sleep parents need. The Happiest Baby on the Block(link is external) is a solid starting point.

Problem: “Controlled crying” isn’t controlled

We also see many prominent bloggers and parenting journalists with a ‘what’s-the-big-deal?’ attitude toward cry-it-out concerns. They argue along the lines of “so I let my nine-month-old cry for 10 minutes; I doubt it will scar him for life.” The problem with using this logic to support cry-it-out practices and advising other parents to follow suit is this describes the minority experience, leaving most babies at risk for a more traumaticexperience (Middlemiss, 2012).

The dangers apply to many of the controlled crying sleep-training methods as well, since the younger or more sensitive temperamentally the baby is, the faster and higher the stress level will rise when suddenly left alone to sleep, and the greater potential damage done to the child’s developing brain (see #1 above and #7 below) and the parent-child relationship(link is external). While a mommy blogger’s older, less sensitive baby only fussed for a few minutes and went to sleep, your baby may not fare so well. Many of the parents we’ve consulted had endured hours of crying for more than a week before giving up. And many babies will reach full panic-mode long before 10 minutes (a common interval in which to offer comfort in most controlled crying methods). Either way, the behaviorist-inspired protocol is the same: don’t intervene—let them cry it out.

And so, media that make light of the cry-it-out experience by lumping it in with mild fussing for a few minutes are steering parents toward the dangers of total extinction, a recipe for toxic distress (see #7 below).

A similar dynamic is often set in motion in the pediatrician’s office. While more pediatricians are progressing beyond the behavioral model of child-rearing in general, too many hold onto it for the purpose of sleep-training (see Schore, 2005, who examines how developmental neuroscience should inform the field of pediatrics). This is because they’ve traditionally looked exclusively to the published (limited) findings of the infant sleep scientists who conclude that extinction is effective (at stopping the crying, not the distress). They then assure parents, per the researchers in the Australian study, that “crying-it-out has been proven safe.” Here again, parents are told when it comes to “helping” your baby sleep through the night, whatever you do is “just fine.” Then they go do “whatever” with no regard to intensity, frequency, age or temperament of their baby. The results are more than likely not at all “fine.”

5. Parenting media fail to understand trauma from an infant’s perspective: 

In light of developmental neuroscience, the advice parents get from the baby-sleep-training instruction books is:

Risky for babies under six months, whose nervous systems are calibrating set points for life (Caldji, 2000).

Damaging for babies at risk for an attachment disorder, conservatively estimated at 40% of babies, which puts them at risk for mental illness.

Ill-advised for all babies who experience intense levels of panic from natural and healthy instincts that compel them to stay close to parents when sleeping.(link is external)

Dangerous for all the babies who don’t just fuss for a couple of minutes but go into full hyper-arousal and then dissociative withdrawal. This is a common response for a distressed infant (Perry, 1998). 

The cry-it-out advice is risky because in these cases, being left to cry is a trauma.

Being left alone at all is stressful for baby mammals (Levine, 2005). Their biological systems become disorganized when separated from caregivers because they have no sense of safety apart from adults. When their distress calls (cries) are then ignored (link is external)they instinctually panic—their lifeline is gone. (More on the brain’s Separation distress neuro-circuitry(link is external).) Once we understand that babies are operating from a survival instinct-dominant, immature brain with limited ability to rationalize, the plentiful trauma research clearly applies(link is external). Infants can experience PTSD, toxic distress, depression and dissociation in response to crying-it-out(link is external).

This is how distress (signaled by crying) becomes trauma.

6. Parenting media fail to recognize the effects of neglect on a continuum:

When concerns over total extinction sleep-training are refuted, we almost always see this line of logic:

‘Since much of the research we have on the devastating effects of infant trauma comes from studies of babies who were subjected to extreme neglect, the outcomes of those studies don’t apply to babies in loving, intact homes.’

Essentially, the argument contends that we can’t extrapolate risks from infant trauma research because, apart from sleep times, extinction-sleep-trained babies are given quality nurturing and responsive care. One needs empirical evidence to verify this and to date there is none. Quite the opposite has been shown—the effects of under care (not abuse) are measurable (Bugental, 2003).

It is true that caregiver responsiveness to the child’s needs generally can mitigate risks for psychological disorders—we parents don’t have to be perfectly responsive at all times. We may misread a hunger cue and offer a toy instead, for example; but when the baby continues signaling we typically try something else until we figure out what he needs.

But make no mistake: The total-extinction experience is so far outside the range of what would be a normal break in responsive care that it’s likely to have some of the same detrimental effects research has linked with extremely neglected babies(link is external)—only to a lesser extreme. Think of it as a neglect continuum. Is that really where we want to set the bar for our most vulnerable--young children?

Trauma alters normal self-development of critical circuits in the right hemisphere that contribute to emotional regulation and social capacities. These circuits are forming rapidly in the first year of life and require caregiver guidance to develop properly (Schore, 1997; Schore 1996). Read about more on effects here(link is external) and here(link is external).

Therefore, however otherwise limited in terms of duration and frequency trauma may be within a healthy, loving family, it’s still trauma, no matter where the baby is. Trauma is trauma. The baby doesn’t know his devoted parents are holding each other in agony outside the nursery door as they follow the advice of a misguided parenting manual that a major magazine article said was “just fine.”

Regardless of where on the neglect continuum any baby subjected to crying-it-out may fall (depending on other environmental and genetic risk factors), the neurological effects of a single high-stress experience are even harder to ignore.

7. Parenting media fail to understand and convey the dangers of toxic stress:

As discussed in previous posts, one of the neurological risks of extreme distress to the developing brain comes from the excess cortisol released. This has been shown to unhook neurons during synaptogenesis—the time when the brain is wiring itself based on experience (McEwen, 2003) (Perry, 1997). Sounds like a legitimate concern, right?

But a common media push-back on this concern counters that we needn’t worry about damaging these sprouting connections, because brain-cell death is a “normal part” of synaptogenesis. Such logic demonstrates a staggering misunderstanding of brain development, yet we see even journalists who are medical doctors using statements like this to dismiss cortisol concerns during CIO.

Specifically, what’s missed here is that the baby’s brain is exquisitely sculpted in a use-dependent fashion. During synaptogenesis, the brain is indeed busy pruning some connections and beefing up others at an extraordinary rate, but this critical process, which will never be repeated for the rest of the child’s life, is anything but random. Based on the baby’s bio-chemistry, which is influenced by high-quality responsive care and sensory input—primarily emotional—neurons compete for connections. Therefore, the infant brain determines from experience—mostly interpersonal experience—which connections are most important and which to prune. This happens billions of times per minute throughout infancy, shaping the brain to precisely fit its unique social environment—for better or worse.

On the other hand, what neuroscientists have termed “over-pruning,” resulting from excess stress or chronic cortisol elevation is random. It wipes out neural connections indiscriminately. In fact, one effect we know empirically from over-pruning is a smaller hippocampus, a major brain structure with myriad functions (Bremner,1998). This is just one example of damage from excess cortisol that can not accurately be asserted as a “just fine” event. It’s undeniably not beneficial to have a shrunken and less connected hippocampus (it’s related to more depression, poor memory, and additional cognitiveproblems.)

At the same time, extreme distress during infancy—particularly chronic, prolonged fearstates—have been associated with an enlarged amygdala, a feature of a brain that suffers from chronic anxiety and a hair-trigger fear response (Mehta, 2009, Schore 2009). In fact, some evidence suggests that an enlarged amygdala accounts for features of AutismSpectrum Disorder (ASD), like emotional dysregulation, failure to orient to faces, and poor eye-contact (Schore, 2013).

Leaving babies alone to cry is not part of “normal” human development from an evolutionary perspective. (For more details on the long term effects see Levine, 2005.)When we do this to other mammals in experiments they become abnormal specimens of their species (Harlow, 1958). And humans are even more sensitive to caregiver treatment than any other animal.