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Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

An Interview with Marcy Stone


Available on Amazon and where books are sold
Q. Does writing energize or exhaust you?
I find writing energizing and healing

Q. Does a big ego help or hurt writers?
I would think a big ego would hurt you regardless of whether you are a writer or not. The balance needed is not there and you would become righteous in your words vs. compassionate.

Q. Did you ever consider writing under a pseudonym?
No, because what I write is personal and is to help people find their way in time of personal crisis. That means to me that they need truth and to know who is behind the words and have I walked my talk so to speak.


Q. Do you try more to be original or to deliver to readers what they want?
No, that would feel unauthentic. I write from the heart.


Q. Do you think someone could be a writer if they don’t feel emotions strongly? 
To me, writing is a form of communication a message with passion just like music lyrics and art. 


Q. Do you want each book to stand on its own, or are you trying to build a body of work with connections between each book?
While the “The Voice of an Angel” can definitely stand alone, I do feel another book coming that can align with it nicely as it shares the before and how we lived. But in the backwards “Star Wars” kind of way (meaning the order will be backwards, getting the end first and then how we did it after)  The cookbook, “The Best of Both Worlds Cookbook, Heavenly Recipes with a Healthy Twist”, will be a series of sorts. We plan on creating a few more bite-size books in 2019 with healthy options in honor of those that we lost.


Q. If you could tell your younger writing self anything, what would it be? 
Be kind to yourself and have patience. Know, going into writing, that you are going to uncover some pretty cool things about yourself that you may not have realized before. Have faith that you can accomplish anything, ESPECIALLY on the tough days.



Q. How did publishing your first book change your process of writing? 

I am no longer worried about making a mistake. The process of writing and publishing can be intimidating the first time around but once you find comfort in the process, you can find ways to simplify. 


You can pick up a copy of her latest book "The Voice of an Angel" on Amazon

===============================================

About Marcy Stone
Following the tragic death of her youngest daughter, Marcy's world shattered, but she knew her Angel was watching over her helping her take that first step, and then the next. This book shares how she found her way through her loss and how she continues to move forward.

Marcy is an accomplished Intuitive Life Guide for over 15 years and holds advanced certificates in several healing modalities in addition to having over 17 years of business leadership experience.

She is a lifetime student of the healing arts and brings her passion for growth and self-empowerment into her work and life. Marcy is married has two beautiful daughters, one that walks with her and one that watches over her.

I Love You, But I Am Leaving You

“I Love You, But I Am Leaving You”

When love is not all you need.


“I’m sorry, I love you, but I have to leave you. You were the right choice, but not my ‘happy’ choice.” —Hallie Mantegna
What?! Did I hear you correctly? If you love me, why are you leaving me? I am definitely missing a piece of this puzzle. But, as it turns out, you may not be missing anything.
Sometimes, love and life clash. Usually, this conflict can be traced to one of two issues: (1) romantic reasons that have to do with the nature of one’s love, and (2) reasons concerning the flourishing life of the partners.
1. "I love you, but not strongly enough."
“There is a difference between someone who wants you and someone who would do anything to keep you. Actions speak louder than wishes.” Unknown
Romantic love is not an all-or-nothing attitude—it comes in different degrees. Some degrees are good enough for having an affair for a few weeks or months, but not sufficient for sustaining long-term love (Ben-Ze’ev & Krebs, 2018).
Examples of common reasons in this group are:
“I found a new lover”;
“In the past, I have loved someone more strongly than I love you”;
“I am happy with you in the short term (great romantic intensity), but I do not see prospects for the long term” (not much romantic profundity);
“We are great sexual partners, but not good friends”;
“We are profound friends, but not great sexual partners”;
“There are major flaws in your behavior preventing me from trusting you and feeling calm with you”;
“I cannot give you the love you deserve”; or more bluntly, “My feelings toward you are not strong enough.”
The reasons in this group are mainly comparative—indicating a lower level of love or romantic suitability. The above differences are often associated with the (ambiguous) statement, “I love you, but I am not in love with you,” which is another claim that has ended many marriages and other committed relationships.  Here, there is some degree of love, but that degree is not sufficient—at least not when compared to other available options.
2. "I love you but cannot live with you."
“Look, I hate good-byes, too. But sometimes, we need them just to survive.” Rachel Caine, Fall of Night
“If I should stay, I would only be in your way, So I’ll go, but I will always love you.” Dolly Parton (and later, Whitney Houston and others)
Long-term romantic relationships should take into account non-romantic factors concerning the living together of the two partners. Loving someone is not always sufficient for deciding to live with someone. Living together and establishing a family together certainly require love—but much more than that. They require the ability to help each other flourish.
Examples of common reasons in this group are:
“You cannot help me to flourish as you do not bring out the best in me”;
“I cannot help you to flourish—on the contrary, being with me blocks your flourishing”;
“We are not suitable for building a long-term, thriving life together”;
“You are not a good father, husband, or provider (though you may be a great lover)”.
In this group of reasons, the degree of love is sufficient for supporting enduring love, but not enduring living together. People sometimes prefer thriving in life over love—it can come down to their own thriving or that of their partner.
An illustration of the first kind is the case of a married woman who said that she loved her first husband very much, but something was missing in their relationship that made her decide to divorce him: “There was nothing wrong with him,’ she said, “but nevertheless I felt that self-fulfillment would not be part of my life. He would not block it, but he will not bring out the best in me. With my second husband, I have many fights, but I do feel his profound passion and ability to bring out the best in me.” This woman chose losing her first husband over losing herself.
An example of preferring the partner’s thriving over love is the case of a partner who, out of profound love, ends a relationship saying that staying together would make his or her beloved miserable in the long term. This is the theme of the popular song “I will always love you,” which many consider the greatest love song of all time. In taking into account this reality, we sometimes hear of a partner, out of profound love, ending a relationship out of concern that staying together would make his or her beloved miserable in the long term. In this case, ending the relationship expresses a genuine interest in the other’s profound well-being.
Is Love All We Need?
“All you need is love.” The Beatles
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” Charles Schulz
Romantic love has a very positive impact upon one’s life—this is expressed in many ways, such as happiness, flourishing and health. For some people, it is the engine that drives their lives forward. However, people need more than love to flourish. For love to thrive and endure, we need a good-enough living framework. When romantic love thrives, it can contribute to a more general feeling of thriving. Sometimes, however, love and life conflict.
And so, we can find ourselves asking: Which takes precedence: love or life? This can be a hard call. At one extreme, one might sacrifice life for love (let’s remember Romeo and Juliet). At the other, one might sacrifice love for life (remaining in a loveless, but otherwise comfortable, marriage, for example). Of course, most of us make romantic decisions that fall somewhere between these harrowing poles. It is the strength of love, the nature of the life-demands, and the degree of conflict between them, which dictate exactly where we wind up on that continuum.
When intense desire is perceived as the core of romantic love, the conflict between romantic love and life ramps up in volume. Such desire is usually brief and decreases with time. Life, by contrast, tends to last. A lover cannot be blind to life, and love does not always win. In any case, love cannot replace life. When love and life go head-to-head, love almost always loses, especially when it is based on intense desire. In the long run, it is when lovers nurture the connection between themselves and do things which enable each other to flourish that love is maintained and enhanced. That is how ties to the living framework are tightened.
“Goodbye taught me that people don’t always stay and the things that belonged to you today can belong to someone else tomorrow.” Rania Naim, Goodbye doesn’t scare me anymore
The claim that “all you need is love” indicates, as Brian Epstein, the Beatles’ manager, once said: “a clear message saying that love is everything.” Although romantic love is extremely important for our happiness and flourishing, love is neither a necessary, nor a sufficient, condition for happy and thriving life. As it turns out, love is not everything in life, though it is often a central part of it.
If indeed, love is not all we need, then it is certainly reasonable for some people to leave the one they love.
Orginial article found: 
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-the-name-love/201807/i-love-you-i-am-leaving-you

Disregard Of Godly And Sound Traditional Marriage Values



With the help of a Loveawake.com dating site, I interviewed more than 10,000 people from around the world to compile some quantitative data and marriage statistics. Here are her most shocking and illuminating findings—and the numbers to back them up. When you break that down by the number of marriages:

41 percent of first marriages end in divorce.
60 percent of second marriages end in divorce.
73 percent of third marriages end in divorce.

Let it be realized, once again, that marriage is intended by God for the fulfillment, happiness, and pleasure of men and women. A mature man or woman is incomplete without marriage because two are better than one. And the two are meant for the happiness, joy, and pleasure of each other. So any regret or crises in marriage is an abnormality. Such problems, especially when they cannot be resolved by the married couples, are not of God, the institutor of marriage.
The brain behind all problems in a marriage relationship is Satan. Satan and his angels are mischievous – all they do is to cause problems and disobedience. They know that when a marriage has problems, it will affect every other thing the couples do. It will affect the home and the society generally. This is so because sound marriage relationship is indispensable to sound society.
One of the ways Satan unleashes his terror against marriage relationship is by causing the couples to disregard the Word of God – the foundation and pillar of marriage. God ordained marriage and gave each partner his or her role in it. If those roles and rules are followed by each partner, there will be harmony and love. But instead of the Word of God being the guiding principle in marriage relationships, all we see and hear are agitations for equality of sexes and the subjugation of womenfolk.
Aside from the Word of God, various societies have traditional values aimed at safeguarding the institution of marriage. Where those values are good, they have also been attacked by frivolous modernity orchestrated by the devil. Otherwise, what is the rationale for arguing that traditional values that safeguarded the marriage relationships of our forebears and made them have fulfilled and pleasurable marriages are now outdated? Yet, the so-called modern values have only brought ruin to our marriages, homes and the society.
The Bible and most other traditional marriage values teach submission by the wife, love, care, respect, and faithfulness to each other, etc. If married couples should go back to these values, marriage relationships would return to what they should be.

About Rinatta Gilles
I have been helping clients fix their love lives for more than 12 years. Many people before you have taken this journey with me, and without exception, their love life --and their whole life -- was changed for the better. I invite you to believe that what you have always dreamed for your love life can be possible for you. I can help you get there.


Warning: You or Your Spouse May Be Addicted to Criticism


This simple test could reveal the truth about your marriage.




Photo by Shutterstock. Used by permission.There is this story about 2 judges who were meeting for lunch. One was matrimonial and the other adjudicate criminal cases. The criminal court judge said “Do you know the difference between my court and yours? In criminal court, my cases involve really bad people who try to look really good. In your matrimonial cases, you have really good people who look really bad.”
Marriage is hard and deeply complex and yes indeed, it can bring out the worst in even us really good people.
Did you ever listen to couples argue? It’s horrible. Two people in love trying to destroy the other. The things they say to each other:
“You don’t know what you’re talking about. You never know what you are talking about.”
“Can you possibly be any more stupid?”
“Your mother did the same thing her whole life and now you’re doing it. She has totally ruined you.”
“You are one coldhearted bitch!”
Marriage is the single most difficult thing most people will do in their lifetimes. To be in constant contact with one person day and night, year in and year out takes almost everything a human being can endure. I don’t think a could even live with myself over a lifetime! It can squeeze us to our limits, bringing out the worst in us, a fact that TV sitcoms have used for years to make millions by having us laugh at marriage.
Let’s face it, couples argue and fight. But couples can go beyond that and become critical of each other’s very personality and identity, often going on a “search and destroy” mission in which they find their partner’s weakest attributes and hammer away at them.
I’m not talking here about what most people call constructive criticism. There are clear differences between criticism and offering advice or even critiques. When an individual is critiquing or making suggestions, they are sticking to the issues at hand. When a person becomes critical, they are attacking the very essence of their loved-one's personality. In a healthy relationship, a couple would naturally offer advice or suggestions to the other. This would be based on a healthy interdependence in which each one would influence the other in love. Criticism, on the other hand, tears a person down while remaining nonproductive in resolving marital issues.
For years, psychologists have recognized that day-to-day criticism by a parent of their child can be so harmful that it can produce any number of mental disorders in the child. Our psychotherapy practices are packed with individuals who have had critical parents. And although it can have similar effects in marriage as well, divorce is the most likely outcome.
Marriage guru John Gottman along with his wife Julia have shown in their empirical research that criticism of a spouse can greatly increase the chances of divorce. Best known for their famous “Love Lab,” the Gottmans collected data on hundreds of couples in real time, scientifically observing and processing couple interactions. They identified what is called the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse of Divorce." These are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. The Gottmans have shown that these four things in a marriage have a high likelihood of producing a divorce. While the present blog addresses only criticism, I encourage you to learn more about the other three and in the Gottman’s research in general.
I believe that habitual criticism of a spouse is an addiction just like a heroin or alcohol addiction. Chronic criticism in my mind shares all the features of a typical addiction. This is because critical people cannot seem to stop their criticisms (just like an alcoholic can’t stop drinking) and seem to seek out situations where they can be critical (like an alcoholic searches for alcohol). Furthermore, they feel better when they are criticizing their spouse just the same as alcoholics do when they drink. And although I am unaware of such research, I would hypothesize that there are even similar brain events going on in the brains of those who are addicted to alcohol and those who are addicted to criticism. 
I have used in my practice a very simple procedure to determine whether or not a particular spouse is addicted to criticism. It is fast and simple and usually produces accurate results. I say to the critical spouse that there are two types of critical people: One type offers good advice to their spouses because they truly want to help their spouse out of altruistic reasons; while the second group has an actual addiction to criticism and are trying to regulate their own feelings by hurting their spouse. I go on to say that there is a simple test to determine which type they are. For one week, they are not allowed to offer any criticism of their spouse. If the person is truly addicted, they will not be able to stop. If they are simply offering advice, it would be easy for them to stop. In most cases, the person is forced to admit that they could not stop and may have to look into themselves as the source of criticism. In most cases and much like the alcoholic, the critical spouse cannot stop.

It is easy to dislike a critical person and dismiss them as being the source of all problems. But if you look into their pasts, you will most likely find that they themselves were the victims of criticism as children. When this type of constant criticism of a child occurs, it creates brain changes, producing a schema; or more simply a distorted lens through which a person looks and interprets life’s events. This schema leads them to seek out the bad somewhere in the good. Something can be 99 percent wonderful, for example, but they will focus on the 1 percent that is “wrong." They might see a great movie only to focus on the minutia of something they didn’t like ("the star seems to be balding"). They might go to a party where everybody enjoys themselves but they feel a particular hors d’oeuvre could have been spicier or that a particular party-goer was too loud when they spoke.
Sadly, as critical as a critical person is with others, they are often more harshly critical of themselves. They can be their own worst critic. I have found that when an individual can openly accept this in themselves, the marriage improves.
Oh yeah, and the “addict” has a real chance of being set free.

Neil J Lavender Ph.D.


Make A Leap


Image result for family
Make A Leap - About Family


Are you a mom or dad that's burned out, going through the motions of each day, wanting to live life abundantly? 


We are Faith and Joe Beneke, best friends, husband and wife, and parents to 15 precious kiddos! Do you want to be a family that doesn't struggle with financial and time burdens? 

So do we!!!

We are PASSIONATE about uniting families, the way God intended us to function! 
Separated, we are open to attack. 

It would be an honor to share this journey with you. The best part about this opportunity is a family accomplishes it TOGETHER, and you get to bless and transform the lives of others as well. That is powerful. 
This is our mission, and hope it's yours as well!

We are not going to approach you with a sales pitch. We are going to give you information and minister to you as a family. You pray about it, and see where God leads you. That is the key to success. You CAN do anything He call you to. He perfectly equips us! 

We look forward to hearing from you, hearing your story, and learning how we can serve your family! Let's make a leap together! 

https://m.facebook.com/makealeap/
faith.mylivepure.com

I Do... 25 Years Later: An Interview with Susan Braxton


I DO...25 Years Later: When A Military Adventure Leads To An Easter Elopement! (Real Talk Series Book 1) by [Braxton, Susan]
I Do... 25 Years Later: When A Military Adventure Leads To An Easter Elopement! by Susan Braxton

How did this book come about? 
I was working on several writing projects but couldn't decide which to really buckle down and get published.  After reading an email from one of my ebook coaches, I took couple of days and just focused on which book should be first.  When this came up in my spirit I was surprised because I had not planned on it all. This book actually evolved from a video that was created as a gift. I noticed how people (young/old/married/single) had the same reactions to the certain parts, causing laughter or amazement, etc., so I decided to turn the video into a book. 


Can you remember when you decided you wanted to publish your work? 
Yes! Back in the early 1990s.  That's when I decided to write using my pen name, Susan Braxton which was inspired by my mother's maiden name.  A lot of time has passed since that decision but I've been pretty busy with Life so it doesn't feel that long ago.


What is your favorite genre?  
When I was young kid it was mystery like Nancy Drew series but as an adult I love Harlequin Special Edition romance novels.


Tell us about the Lewis'.
The Lewis' walk us through their life together. They've created a special video for their 25th wedding anniversary as a gift for their children. They recap what happens when military adventures lead to an EASTER elopement! What happened when a small town country boy and a city girl's world collide, all the exciting places they traveled together and they each take turns sharing special, wacky stories about their many adventures. This was a really fun project for me and I would love to see it go from book to movie. 


What can someone expect from reading your book? 
One reader, after turning down a marriage proposal several times, decided to give love another chance and eloped!  Others have said they've been inspired not to give up on getting married and one husband said he was inspired to work on his marriage.


Which chapter is your favorite?  
I would have to say chapter 7 which covers the Easter elopement which is so romantic! I hope people become inspired by the story to stay open to love! Relationships, especially marriage, takes effort and work but at the same time you can have so much fun!   


Was Indie publishing your first route of choice for publishing?  
No, back in the 90's the traditional publishing route was all I knew.  I started attending seminars and taking classes which all seemed to be leaning towards giving Indie publishing a try … I did!  It has been wonderful & empowering, I'm so glad I overcame all the hesitations.

Do you have any advice for someone considering writing their first novel? 
Yes - pursue it! Get your story out of your head and in written form. Connect with the resources to publish and don't give up until you accomplish it!  


What have the responses from readers been?  
I've received really great feedback and I'm glad I followed through with publishing it.  A couple of comments that were awesome:  “Humorous, enjoyable quick read!  Educational for young couples”  “…A beautiful story and most worth-while undertaking! It is spirit-filled and so heart-touching.”


Do you have anything else you'd like to share about the book?  
There is a nugget inside waiting just for you that will at the appointed time inspire you just when you needed it!



Find Me:

Website: www.IDo25yearslater.com


Available on Amazon: www.amzn.to/19caEvY

Do You Have 12 Seconds?

Do you know how to date appropriately? Do you know how to treat others in a way to promote attraction? Do you know how to prepare for a successful marriage? Do you know how to have the finances for your future family?

Unbeknownst to the masses, life is not random. There are universal laws that govern every blessing and opportunity that comes our way. When these laws are observed, tremendous things happen. When they are ignored, unnecessary delays, difficulties and problems enter into one's life. But actually, it only takes 12 SECONDS to take off negative mental roadblocks, so you can take off on positive roads!

So join our rocket and blast off because your blessings are waiting and every second counts...twelve, eleven, ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one...manifestation!


The Communication Jungle

Everyone communicates in one way or another, but very few people have mastered the skill of truly effective communication. Effective communication involves a lot more than just speaking clearly without nervously stuttering or making sure you write your email with no mistakes.

When it comes to successful marriages, couples and families, it is critical to develop strong and clear keys for communication. The key to any success is good communication skills in life, work and relationships.

Join us as we discover better ways to communicate.

Tips to Making Your Marriage Happy

 My article was featured on Always New You. 

Tips to Making Your Marriage HappyTo many people the phrase “happy marriage” may sound like an oxymoron. I’ve even found myself asking “what’s so happy about it?” at times throughout the years. The trick to having a happy marriage is making a happy marriage. Just like so many other things in life, you get out of your marriage what you put into it. Learn how to make your marriage happy using the following tips from our expert:

How to Make your Marriage Thrive!

Let’s face it – marriage can be hard! But it doesn’t have to stay that way. There are simple things you can do every day to make a difference. Happy couples know that doing these 3 small things can make a world of difference. Couples in trouble, usually find themselves unsure of where to go or what to do, to make their marriage really thrive. During a typical couples counseling session, you learn new ways to communicate, how to repair lost trust, and how to love each other again properly. But, it’s also helpful to learn those day-to-day things you can do to keep your relationship in a healthy state.

Read more

Bates Family 19th Blessing

Congratulations to the Bates Family 19th Blessing and More Announcements


We wanted to give a heart-warming congratulations to the Bates Family, who have been featured on the popular hit TLC show with the Duggar's  19 Kids and Counting, who just welcomed their newest 19th blessing into the world yesterday. Children are a blessing from the Lord and when we see families with children of any size we need to praise Him! Whether it is 19 or 1--they are God's precious gifts to us!


 You may read see more pictures at their blog HERE.

The Huffington Post also covered it:

Bates Family Now Tied With Duggars as America's Largest Family


National Marriage Week 2012

From February 7th to 14th every yearis a collaborative effort to encourage many diverse groups to strengthen individual marriages, reduce the divorce rate, and build a stronger marriage culture, which in turn helps curtail poverty and benefits children. Together we can make more impact than working alone.

Together For Marriage

Marriage works. It makes people happier, live longer, and build more economic security. Children with married parents perform better in school. Click here for new research on "Why Marriage Matters: Thirty Conclusions from Social Science."

Deep down, everyone wishes they could have a rewarding lifelong commitment with their spouse. But in the midst of challenges, we forget how marriage can benefit our personal lives. We are losing our determination and the skills to keep marriages heal thy and strong.
Marriage breakdown is costly to our kids and to society at large. Divorce and unwed childbearing cost the U.S. taxpayers a whopping $112 billion annually. In these economic challenging times, building stronger marriages helps build a stronger nation.

New Life Pastoral Counseling, is assisting by providing workshops, seminars and classes that improve marriages and strengthen family. Find out more, here.

How to Create Family Traditions

 Sometimes, it is just as important to share a great article with you, as it is to write one. This one about creating traditions is good one. It can be found on it's website by clicking the title.

 

How to Create Family Traditions



Memories (not all of them but some of them) should be
planned with the same careful kind of planning one would
give to planning a museum. A family life in retrospect should
be a museum of diverse and greatly varied memories, with
a unity that makes the grouping of people involved share
at least many if not all of the overlapping memories.

~Edith Schaeffer, What is a Family?

By Weekly Contributor, Kim Brenneman, Large Family Logistics

Think back to your childhood home and family. Likely you have memories of daily rituals of food, smells, and sights. Did your family have a daily prayer time? Additionally, there are seasonal memories like raking leaves, smells of fall, apples, and pumpkins; sledding and hot chocolate; Christmas albums played in your home; the smell of tilling the garden and planting seeds or flowers; summer ball games, hot humid air, swimming, popsicles. Memories are connected with our senses. We know what the air felt like, the smells, the tastes of certain foods and when these things are connected with good and happy experiences they are a powerful comfort when we get the slightest experience of them again. A certain scent or feel in the air can bring a surge of memories from the past.

Memories of traditions are part of who we are as people. When a time of day comes around, a season or a holiday we have expectations for good things to happen. We want to relive a time in life. A deep part of us remembers something that fills us with love and hope. As mothers we have the power to create experiences that impact our families for their good. What will they remember every Christmas for their whole life?


As Christians we are mandated to teach our children the Shema from Deuteronomy 6, “The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.” Our traditions should point our children to that truth.

That can be done easily through an attitude of prayerful thankfulness that comes out of our mouth all the time. “Isn’t God good to us? He has given us _________.” That truth can be expressed in our daily routines when we put oatmeal on the table with honey and raisins and it can be expressed on Independence Day when we stand for the flag during the  town parade.


God marked the Hebrew calendar with feasts and celebrations to bring the focus to Him and the great things He has done. He gave us six days of work and a day of rest, set apart for Him. He is a God of order and a God of remembrance and festivals. The greatest event of all time happened when God sent us Jesus as a baby, to grow up as man, who lived a perfect life, suffered and died on the cross for our sins, rose again conquering death so that we may live with Him forever. We may not know when He was exactly born. We might not have done as the church fathers of the past did by replacing a pagan celebration with a holy day. But God is sovereign. He has a plan. Today we live in a culture that does not worship the idols of the past but is consumed with commercialism, materialism, selfishness.  We must keep our families and our feasts and celebrations centered on Christ.

How do we do this? We moms are busy enough with managing schedules, laundry, dishes, cleaning, and the rest. Add in a holiday and we are tipping towards chaos. I don’t think that God meant for feasts and celebrations to bring on burnout. Let’s first fix ourselves by taking our eyes off of the work and putting it onto Christ. Make Him your partner and talk to Jesus about your plans and your work all the day long.

As you create the traditions of your days and seasons and holidays with their scents, sights, tastes, and experiences of love and goodness keep them Jesus-centered. Remind your children of the good things that God has done for us, for you, for your family. Tell your children why we do certain things. Big speeches are not necessary, although sometimes a presentation is appropriate, but talk to your children in your everyday conversations as you work, bringing up the whys and hows of your family’s actions.

Someday our children will be grown, creating their own homes and family traditions. They will have memories of their childhood that will be warm and comforting, and if we have done our job right they will know why we celebrate and do the things we do. A valid tradition is one in which our children will in turn teach their children, The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.

House Cleaning Schedule


When I was a stay-at-home Mom, I loved it.  So, I tend to still get many of the newsletters on home & housekeeping. The tips they share are great and can make the difference in your work load, as well as, if you wish to become a stay-at-home Mom.

The entire article is listed below, however, you can also click on the title to see it on it's website.

House Cleaning Schedule


Good house keeping starts with a good cleaning schedule, and there’s nothing like walking into a house that smells as good as it looks. When floors are washed, beds are made and dishes are put away, the family gains a sense of comfort in knowing that their surroundings are under control. Being clean and organized saves you both time and money. When all things are put in proper order you don’t have to spend minutes or hours looking for lost items. And when supplies are carefully organized, you can easily find them instead of replenishing stock. That's where a schedule like this comes in handy!

This schedule focuses on house cleaning. It does not cover meal planning, bill payment or personal hygiene. It is designed to get your house in tip-top shape each week and keep it looking that way.

Tackle one area of your house/day, and before you know it you’ll have it sparkling clean from top to bottom! If you’re starting from scratch, then the first week or two will take up much of your time, because there may be areas that you haven’t been cleaning on regular basis. But once you get a good deep cleaning done, up-keep will be a breeze!


My sister Betty always says, when the dishes and laundry are done a woman is happy, but that happiness dissipates quickly if we don’t make a daily effort to keep up those areas. Dishes and laundry are constantly in use, and therefore we must constantly be on top of those kinds of jobs.

This “Daily Upkeep” section of the schedule covers the cleaning that you’ll need to tend to each and every day.

Make the Beds

It only takes five minutes to make a bed. Five minutes goes a long way to making your family appreciate you. If your children are old enough, ensure that they make their own beds before school. Caring for the house is a great habit for all kids to get into.

Laundry

Depending on the size of your family, you may need to schedule anywhere from one to four loads of laundry/day. Start with two loads each day (Monday-Friday) and decide if you need to increase that number or not.

While the water is running in the machine, wet a light-colored rag and wipe down the washer and dryer if necessary (keep a few on hand in that room). Throw the rag into the load.

Set a timer so you don’t forget to put the second load in. The timer is also necessary for clothes that are drying. Whether they are in an electric dryer or hanging on the line, we want to fold them as soon as possible to prevent wrinkles. And besides that—fresh laundry smells incredible!

Once they are folded, put everything away. Piles of laundry littering the couch only takes away from the hard work you have done.

About line drying: I had a clothes line in my last house that ran from the back door to the back lane. I loved using it in the summer time--felt like I stepped back into the '60s! Since moving to this house a few years back, we haven't put up a clothes line yet. However, I do try to dry sheets and towels and blankets on my deck railing when the weather is nice. It's not the best alternative, but it satisfies my craving for the outdoor smell.

Here are just a few reasons that line-drying is good:
  • We save money on hydro
  • The sun kills germs and therefore the clothes smell so much better
  • Dryers are more apt to shrink your clothing
  • The sun doesn't cause static cling
  • Hanging clothes is good 0ld-fashioned exercise
While I was in Jamaica I noticed that nearly every house had a clothes line. So when I mentioned it to our tourist guide, she told me that her doctor recommended line drying for good health. Makes sense since the sun offers vitamins and kills germs.

If you don't like the crunchy feeling that you get from hanging up towels and jeans, dry them 3/4 of the time on the line, and finish the load in the dryer.

Vinegar in the wash is also a great way to kill odors--even odors as foul as cigarette smoke. Don't worry about your clothes coming out smelling like pickles, the vinegar smell also washes away in the water and gives the clothes a good cleaning.

Wash Your Dishes

Empty your dishwasher every night, or put your hand washed dishes away. This clears space up for the next day’s activities. Keep on top of dishes that don’t fit into the dishwasher and wash them as soon as each one is emptied. Pots, pans, plastic bowls and juice jugs can clutter a sink, and a cluttered sink takes the charm away from any dining experience.

Find a liquid soap with an aroma that’s pleasing. It will make your dishwashing experience a more pleasurable one and your hands will smell great.

Every time you wash the dishes, also take a moment to sweep the kitchen floor.

10-Minute Tidy

In addition to your daily duties, which I will outline below, set your timer for 10 minutes three times/day and tidy things up. You’ll be surprised at how much you can achieve in only 10 minutes time. I like to do this after breakfast, lunch and supper. This step is in addition to laundry, dishes, and shedding your junk, which we’ll get to next.


Shed Your Junk

Again set your timer, but this time it’s only for 10 minutes/day. Tackle any cluttered area that you desire and discard junk. Have one box for “giveaways,” and another for “throwaways.”

(Also see my article "Toss out 25 Things")

While you’re purging, keep this rule in mind: if it isn’t pretty, useful, or sentimental, get it out of the house. As for clothing, if you haven't worn it in the past year, you likely won't wear it again. If you're hanging on to clothing "just in case" you might decide to wear it, chances are you won't. The longer it sits in your closet the less likely you are to ever put it on. Pack it up and give it to someone who will cherish it as much as you did the day you brought it home. Besides--how much clothing do we really need?

Lighten your load by giving away items that you don’t necessarily need. Want—perhaps, but need—no. Having less stuff makes cleaning and organization easier and there’s far less dusting to do!

Incorporate Routines to Your Schedule

Everyone's schedule is different and therefore one routine does not fit all. Choose daily routines that work for you and your family. It could be as simple as listing three cleaning chores for the morning and three more for days end. Don't overwhelm yourself with enthusiasm or you might tire out. Handle some tasks today, and others tomorrow--it will all get done in time.

Start a Journal

It may be helpful to start a home maintenance journal where you can record your routine, keep track of this schedule, grocery lists, plan menus and keep track of important "to-dos." A small three ring binder about the size of a Daytimer works well since the pages are removable. Target carries the cutest little notebooks, and of course I have a few on hand. You can't insert pages, but if you're creative you can always glue a little pocket onto the inside front cover to store coupons and grocery lists. Brown paper kraft paper is the perfect weight for book pockets. Cut out a square, fold the edges under on three sides (about 1/3 inch), apply glue for the three edges and fasten to the inside cover.

Don't Get Sidetracked

One of the best things I've ever purchased was a telephone headset. Mine broke about a year ago, but it's back on the top of my Christmas list for 2010 [update: I got it!]. Phone calls can be so disruptive when you have dishes to wash, and unless you're as talented as my friend Sandra, it's difficult to be juggling both. A hands-free headset is well worth the money if you find that telephone calls are tying you down. I roam the house with mine.

The computer is also a huge distraction for women today. Used to be that soap operas distracted women, but as least they were still able to turn up the volume and move freely through the house to get their cleaning done. Not so with computers. Facebook, Twitter, and Blogger are all things that draw my attention away from my home. I need to be cautious that I'm not too sidetracked when there is house work to be done. Sitting in front of a monitor will not result in a clean house, ladies.


Monday

Clean the bathroom/bathrooms. Wet a cloth and sprinkle soap onto the cloth, wipe down the bathtub, the sink and the counters. I use a hand scrubber to remove tough grime. Use one scrubber for the toilet, and a separate one for the sink, bathtub and floors.

While my sister was working for a professional cleaning company, she picked up an awesome cleaning tip from them. Instead of using a standard cleaning product, my sisters are now using laundry detergent to clean their bathroom sink and tub. Keep a small box of it handy under the sink (but away from the reach of little children) and sprinkle a bit onto a damp cloth. It works great for removing bathtub scum. Since it's much cheaper than the standard chemicals I'm switching too!

Paper towels are my best friend when it comes to the bathroom. After I wipe and scrub the areas with the hand brush, I dry with paper towels that I can discard. I also like to hang on to worn out socks, or undershirts that I cut into pieces and use as disposable cloths. One pair of long underwear goes a long way! Cleaning your bathtub weekly is important as a ring can build up, making it difficult to remove.

Give special attention to the floor. The area behind the toilet is a gathering place for filth, especially if you have little boys. Reach in with a moist hand brush, and wipe dry with paper towels.

Keep the soap and brush under the sink where you can easily touch up areas during the week.

Clean the mirrors with window cleaner until you can hear them laugh. Then use the moist paper towels to wipe down the door handle and light switch.

* See window cleaner recipe below.

Look up. Is there a fan that needs to be cleaned? Check your shower liner. Is it time for a wash?

Don't forget to empty the garbage. Next time you're picking up cleaning supplies, find a box of great smelling fabric softener and throw a sheet into the bathroom garbage to freshen up the scent. It doesn't have to be brand name, it just has to smell good.

Remember, when guests are sitting on your throne, they have nothing better to do than observe what kind of a housekeeper you are.

Tuesday

Spend time in the bedrooms on Tuesdays.

Change bedding, and toss sheets in the wash. Note: if you purchase deep sheets, they won't pop off of the corners as often. If it's nice outside, try hanging your sheets and blankets outside.

Organize clothes, and dust off your dressers. Take a look in your closet to see what you can give away. If it doesn’t fit, or you haven’t worn it in over a year, there is no reason to keep it. Put as much junk away as possible so that all clutter is eliminated.


Keep DVDs, CDs, and jewellry off of the dressers. Keep one or two books on each bed stand and put the others away in a book shelf.

Clean the windows and mirrors, and occasionally wash your drapes. Wipe down window sills, and clean inside the tracking of sliding windows. They say not to clean your windows on a sunny day, and the reason is that they dry too quickly, leaving you with a streaky finish.

Empty space makes for a comfortable bedroom so do your best to shed items when it comes to the most restful place in your home.

Wednesday

This is kitchen day. The kitchen is the hub of the family, so in addition to the daily maintenance you do, deep cleaning this room is necessary once a week.

Organize your pantry and discard old food. Repackage items that have torn torn or open boxes, and consider storing them in Tupperware to eliminate the threat of insects.

Empty and wipe out your refrigerator. Thursday is shopping day and you’ll need all of the space you can get. If you leave this chore to doing once monthly, you’ll find it’s far more difficult to get done. Constant maintenance is the key to keeping a refrigerator clean and functional.

Fill a glass bowl full of water and add about 1/4 cup of vinegar to it. Place the bowl in the microwave for about three minutes. This should be long enough to steam the inside of the microwave. Now wiping it down is a snap! (My sister says she skips the bowl and just puts a wet cloth in--even easier!)

Wash your counters and disinfect them. Note: vinegar is a great disinfectant, and since it's edible it's a safe alternative to use on kitchen surfaces.

A little vanilla on vinyl flooring hides pet odors, but beware of possible stains.

Have a coffee maker to rinse? Powdered automatic dish detergent is the best for removing coffee stains whether they are in the pot or on your counter. Just a little bit will do. It also works well to clean a stainless steel sink.

Wipe down your appliances and your cupboards.

Empty your garbage. And before you put the next bag in, throw about five bags into the bottom of the can. This makes changing the garbage every day an even easier task.

Organize one or two drawers. Here's the thing--did you realize that most women have the same odds and ends in their "junk drawer?" Yes, we do. Ask one of your friends, and you'll see. And if you took a minute to analyze the junk you'd also see that this junk can be organized into 5-6 categories. Grab a handful of large Ziploc bags and slip items of similarity into each:
  • Pens, pencils, erasers, markers
  • Scotch tapes, masking tape electrical tape
  • Candles, birthday candles, matches, lighters
  • String, twine, shoelaces
  • Keys, padlocks
  • Etc.

It's a lot easier to pull out a bag when you need masking tape then to sift through a drawer of junk looking for it.

It's also a good idea to designate a shoe box for warranties, instruction booklets, and important receipts. It only takes five minutes to find a shoe box today, but you'll save yourself all kinds of time and frustration in the future.

Once per month clean the inside of your stove.

Use the hose of the vacuum to suck up crumbs when you're cleaning the toaster, and also use the vacuum hose to clean crumbs from the cutlery drawer. (Yes--we all seem to get crumbs in there!)

Thursday

This is grocery day. Plan your meals for a week and write down the supplies you will need. Check to ensure that you have an adequate stock of light bulbs, cleaning supplies, toiletries, and the like.

If you have collected any coupons during the week, put them in your purse.
Call your husband to see if there is anything that he needs from the store before heading out.

If you have errands to run, this is a good day to do them. Save time and gas money by grouping trips together, and try to schedule errands for this day as well .

Friday

Vacuum all carpeted areas and clean all other floors. Pull the couches away from the walls and get behind there. Every second week, remove the cushions and vacuum the inside of the couch on this day.

* Also see carpet cleaning below.

Grab a dusting rag or a bounce sheet and dust any surfaces that you haven’t touched yet this week. Clean any windows and mirrors that haven’t been cleaned yet this week. See any scuff marks on your walls? Try using toothpaste to remove them.

Several decades ago, my sister Betty decided to jump on her bed with a pencil in hand. When mom discovered the mess she had made, Betty was sent to her room with an old toothbrush and toothpaste. It all came off.

Saturday

Spend time with your family working outside. This is a great day to mow the lawn or shovel the walk, depending on the time of year. In summer, transfer your plants, in winter hang Christmas lights. Check your front door. Does the welcome mat need cleaning? Does your front steps need a shovel or sweeping? Consider what you want done, and use this day to do it.

Grab a garbage bag and clean out your car. Vacuuming and cleaning the interior should be done 2-3 times/year, but let’s stick with home maintenance here.

Take one day/month to clean out the garage. You may ask your husband to help you if it’s too large a job to take on yourself. If he agrees, spend the time cleaning with him.

Sunday

Take time to enjoy a day of rest with the family.

My Bible Culture

My Bible Culture
DISCOVER A NEW AND EASY WAY TO EXPERIENCE THE BIBLE LIKE NEVER BEFORE. DIGITAL & HARD COPY AVAILABLE NOW . >King James version Bible > 7 Color Coded Sections > Comic Style

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