Hooked on Meat: Evolution, Psychology, and Dissonance

"Even after reading the book and confirming the sordid details about my destructive habit, I’m still not ready to go vegetarian – I just really love to eat meat." (Caroline Morley, Meathooked: How eating meat became a global obsession(link is external))

Marta Zaraska's new book called Meathooked: The History and Science of Our 2.5-Million-Year Obsession with Meat (link is external)(the Kindle edition can be seen here(link is external)) is an outstanding analysis of why the vast majority of humans make the choice to eat nonhuman animals (animals) knowing well that it isn't good for them or the planet. I really want as many people as possible to read Ms. Zaraska's book, not because it will make them go veggie or vegan -- indeed that is not her mission -- but rather to gain a deeper and comprehensive understanding of why their meal plans look like they do. Excerpts from the book's description capture what Meathooked is all about.

What makes us crave animal protein, and what makes it so hard to give up? And if all the studies are correct, and consuming meat is truly unhealthy for us, why didn’t evolution turn us all into vegetarians in the first place?

In Meathooked, Zaraska explores what she calls the “meat puzzle”: our love of meat, despite its harmful effects. Scientific journals overflow with reports of red meat raising the risk of certain cancers; each hamburger contributes as much to global warming as does driving a car 320 miles; and the horrors of industrial meat production are now well-known.

None of these facts have prompted us to give up our hamburgers and steaks. On the contrary, meat consumption has only increased over the past decades. Taking the reader to India’s unusual steakhouses, animal sacrifices at temples in Benin, and labs in Pennsylvania where meat is being grown in petri dishes, Zaraska examines the history and future of meat and meat-eating, showing that while our increasing consumption of meat can be attributed in part to the power of the meat industry and the policies of our governments, the main “hooks” that keep us addicted to meat are much older: genes and culture.

An original and thought-provoking exploration of carnivorousness, Meathooked explains one of the most enduring features of human civilization—and why meat-eating will continue to shape our bodies and our world into the foreseeable future.

An interview with Ms. Zaraska

I learned about Meathooked when Ms. Zaraska asked me to do an interview on play in non-human mammals and I was hooked. I did a brief interview with her that I found very informative. 

Why did you write Meathooked and what do you hope to accomplish?

I wrote Meathooked because one question kept bugging me, a question I just couldn't find an answer to anywhere. I've read over and over that meat was bad for us (because ofhealth, environment, ethics), yet I started wondering why do we eat meat at all if it's so bad for us and the planet? Why is this such a special food to so many people? Why is it such a touchy, charged topic? So in part I wrote Meathooked for myself, because I wanted to learn more why people crave meat so much. But during the process I also came to believe that if we are to reduce meat consumption (and we really must if we want to avoid major climate trouble - which for the sake of my daughter I hope we will), then we need to understand why we eat it in the first place. Without comprehending why meat is so important to us, it'll be really hard to give it up. 

For whom is it written?

It's both for meat lovers and for hardcore vegans. For meat lovers because it can shed some light on why they enjoy and crave meat so much, and for vegans because it can help them understand why vast the majority of people is not joining them and happily ditching meat. 

What is your own meal plan?

Complicated. 90% vegetarian. I eat fish from time to time (once every few weeks) when I go out to a restaurant and there is nothing else on the menu but meat (I live in rural France, it's not a vegetarian heaven, believe me). But then I eat only vegan on Mondays (in parallel to "Meatless Mondays"). And sometimes, maybe twice a year, I will nibble on a piece of bacon or a slice of pepperoni, stolen off a friend's pizza. 

What did you think of the last sentence of the New Scientist review?

(The review to which I was referring by Caroline Morley contains the quote with which I began this essay, namely, "Even after reading the book and confirming the sordid details about my destructive habit, I’m still not ready to go vegetarian – I just really love to eat meat.") It reminded me of what a number of my friends say to me when I ask them why they continue to eat meat knowing about the animals' deep and enduring suffering. Their usual response goes something like, "I know they suffer but I love my burger(link is external)." Clearly there is a good deal of dissonance here.) 

I thought: wow, that's precisely why I wrote Meathooked - to explain that there is so much more behind our obsession with meat than "I just really love to eat meat". Although, admittedly, it's easier to say "I just love it" than explain that: "I love the unique mixture of meat's flavors of umami and fat and the products of the Maillard reaction, and I enjoy the fact that meat symbolizes power and wealth, and I've likely inherited my propensity to like protein foods from my parents," and so on. To be honest, to really explain why we love meat, you need about 75,000 words (that's how long my book is, more or less).

In her review Ms. Morley also writes, "Zaraska’s tone is light and she does well putting facts and figures to ideas we are familiar with – such as how powerful the meat industry is. 'In 2011, in the US alone, the annual sales of meat were worth $186 billion,' she writes. And she has a truly alarming figure up her sleeve: 'During the 2013 election cycle, the animal products industry contributed $17.5 million to federal candidates.'”

Going "Cold tofu"

Ms. Morley also writes, "But non-vegetarians can take heart: her vision of the short-term future is not entirely meat-free. After a whole book exploring our 'addiction', she concludes that going cold turkey (pun intended) could backfire. 'Even though I do believe that in the future humanity will eat mostly plant-based foods, I also believe that pushing for dietary purity is not the way to go,' she writes."

Shaming and forcing people to change their meal plans doesn't usually work at least in the long-term, and I feel Ms. Zaraska's non-preachy tone is rather effective. In an essay I wrote called "Going "Cold Tofu" to End Factory Farming," I noted that step-by-step decreases in whom we choose to eat, not what we choose to eat (please see "Who we eat is moral question: Vegans have nothing to defend") will be better for ourselves, the planet, and future generations. 

Along these lines, the last paragraph of James McWilliams' The Modern Savage: Our Unthinking Decision to Eat Animals(link is external) says it well: "What I'm asking you to imagine is thus a movement that requires us to become more emotionally in tune with animals, ethically consistent in our behavior, and better informed about the evolutionary heritage we share with sentient creatures. This movement, whether we join it all at once or gradually, with immediate zeal or reluctantly, will, in the end, triumph over industrial agriculture because it will be, above all else, a bloodless revolution based on compassion for animals, the environment, and ultimately ourselves." (For more on the underlying reasons for our meal plans please also see "The Psychology Behind Our Meal Plans: Why We Eat Whom We Eat", an essay about Dr. Melanie Joy's excellent video called "The Secret Reason We Eat Meat(link is external).")

Leaving the "meatingplace" mentality behind and moving on with more humane meal plans and fewer animals on the plate

There are a number of excellent books and videos that focus on whom we choose to eat and Meathooked ranks right up there with the best of them. People working on what's called "meat science(link is external)" have a place where they talk about their research called the "meatingplace(link is external)" (they really do!), and Meathooked provides an excellent opportunity for people to reflect on why they are addicted to meat. My recommendation is to readMeathooked and share it widely. It could well be a win-win for all involved. 

Marc Bekoff Ph.D.Animal Emotions

Anything I Want to Be

It is an exciting book about Troy Johnson who knows that he is special, valued and can be anything that he wants to be. Troy is a child of God. He belongs to Jesus. He is motivated and expecting wonderful things for his future. While the book features a youth, its message is universal. It is a powerful reminder to adults as well to continue to dream, set new goals and live without limits throughout life. 

The book and its theme song colorful, catchy and sure to inspire everyone. “Troy” speaks to that inner yearning in all of us to excel, and maximize our full potential. “Anything I Want To Be” is timeless, relevant and necessary. It is truly, a “must have.”

**************

About Katherine

Katherine A. Murray is a born again Christian and preaches the Gospel of Jesus Christ. She is a graduate of Clark University (BA), Drew University (MA), Syracuse University College of Law (JD), and is a licensed attorney. Murray stands on the Biblical promise of Philippians 4:13, that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. Every child says Murray, has God given talents and abilities. Consequently, as we provide them with Christian leadership and solid educational foundations, we will watch them soar to great heights.

Visit the website now!

Why Is It Hard to Say “No” and How Can You Get Better At It?

Dave wasn’t quite ready to get married, but his girlfriend, Lizzie, had made it clear that the time had arrived. She brought it up almost daily. “We’ve been together for four years,” she said. “I know you love me. We’re really happy together. So why you don’t want to marry me?”

Dave knew she was right. He loved Lizzie and wanted to be with her forever. But some part of him still wanted to say “no” to marriage, at least for the moment. He just couldn’t explain it to her.

Janie had recently broken up with her boyfriend, and her friends were pressuring her to sign up to an Internet dating site. But Janie was reluctant. “My biggest problem is not whether or not any guys will be interested in me,” she said a little shyly. “I’m sure someone out there will be. But what if I’m not interested in them? How do I politely reject someone? I just hate the idea of hurting someone’s feelings. And what if someone doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer? It’s hard for me to be really firm.”

Larry’s buddies were going to an expensive club. Larry didn’t have that kind of money to blow on a night of drinking, and he also didn’t really want to get wasted, which he knew was going to be the end result of the evening. But he could not figure out how to get out of it without pissing off all of his friends.

Susie had landed a paying internship at the company of her dreams. She knew that she was starting at the bottom, but she had hopes that her new employers would be impressed by her abilities and that she would quickly move up in the business. At her interview she had said that she would be willing to do anything they wanted, but really, she had no idea that they were going to expect her to keep the kitchen clean and pick up coffee and doughnuts for the morning meeting.  

Do any of these situations sound familiar?

In a recent Forbes Business article Jonathan Becher(link is external) offers several quotes from powerful men who consider “no” to be an important part of a successful life strategy: Here are just three of his examples:

Steve Jobs: “Focusing is about saying ‘no.’”

Warren Buffett: “We need to learn the slow ‘yes’ and the quick ‘no.’”

Tony Blair: “The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes.”

But for many of us, it’s not so easy to develop this art.

Why is this?

Fear of conflict

Many of us are afraid of conflict. We don’t like others to be angry with us or critical of us. We therefore avoid saying “no” when we are afraid that it will put us into conflict with someone else, whether that someone is an intimate partner, a colleague or friend, or a supervisor or boss. Many of us also try to avoid battles with our children, because we feel that if we say “no” to them, they will stop loving us.

As children we are taught not to go against authority. We are supposed to do what parents, teachers, and others in power tell us to do. We obey because of fears of being punished, but also because of a desire to please and be loved by these people who are very important to us. We carry this worry with us into adulthood.

But we are also pulled by a desire to fit in with and be liked by our peers. Research has shown that men and women have a tremendous need to belong to a peer group. Whether boy or girl, man or woman, we desire acceptance by our friends, or the people we want to be friends with, as a way of establishing and maintaining a sense of identity, of “selfness.”

Don’t want to disappoint or hurt someone

So, you don’t want to tell your mom you won’t be home for the holidays because she’ll be so disappointed. Okay, makes sense, right? Sometimes we do things that make others feel better, even if it’s not quite what we want to do. But what if she’s going to be disappointed that you are making a job or a career choice that she doesn’t like, but that is your total dream? Or what about something small, like disappointing a friend by not going out to dinner with her when you’ve got a huge work project due the next day? Or even smaller, what if you and your boyfriend or girlfriend can’t agree on a restaurant or a movie? Do you give in so that they won’t be disappointed?

Desire to be unique

Yet we are also encouraged to think “outside the box,” to focus on our unique talents and our personal truths. Most of us want to be viewed as special in some way, as different from the very group that we belong to. It is sometimes this need to be seen as a separate person that drives those of us who defy authority, often to our own detriment. “You’re not the boss of me,” shouted at some time or another by many young children, is a driving life force for all of us. But of course defiance and purposefully unacceptable behavior can backfire. It can make you stand out, but it can also separate you from the very group that you want to belong to.

Here’s a funny thing about the quality of specialness and difference. It seems that for many of us, feeling different feels best within the context of an accepting, affirming peer group!

Harder for women?

My PT colleague Kathryn Lively writes that women often have difficulty saying “no” to men, because we want to get along, want to be nice and don’t want to hurt another person’s feelings. In my work as a therapist over the years, I have certainly seen plenty of examples of this phenomenon; but I have also worked with many men who don’t say “no” because they don’t want to “rock the boat.”

What can you do about it?

Techniques

There are many techniques for getting better at saying “no,” once you’ve located some of the psychological reasons that make it difficult.

• Marcia Linehan, creator of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), suggests practicing saying “no” in small, unimportant situations, like not buying something at a drugstore.
• Eating disorder specialist and my PT colleague Susan Albers suggests that you stop and breathe before saying “yes,” in order to give yourself a little space and an opportunity to assess and respond to your own needs.
• Seek advice. We’ll talk more about this in a moment, but in essence the point is to get backup for your own position.
• Don’t be fooled by the word “everyone else…” It is almost universally untrue that everyone else is doing the same thing or wants you to do whatever is being asked of you.
• Take a minute to ask yourself how bad the guilt, anxiety, disappointment or other emotions you might feel if you don’t do whatever’s being asked of you will be. Can you tolerate them? Is it worth it to do that thing in order not to feel those feelings?
• Assess the fallout. How bad will it be? Again, is it worth it to give in? Or not to?Consider that there is no perfect answer. If you say “yes” this time, you can try “no” sometime later. And maybe, just maybe, “yes” this time will make it easier to say “no” the next time.
• Remember that you can change your mind in most cases. Don’t get trapped by the belief that you only have one opportunity. There will be many more (see above).
• And finally, remember that sometimes “yes” is actually a better answer. We’ll talk more about this in a minute.

Getting backup

So how does this fit with saying “no”? It seems that most of us feel much better about saying “no” to someone if we have the backup of some buddies or folks that we trust.

Dave, for example, talked to his brothers and sister about his quandary with Lizzie. They helped him to put into words what he was feeling, and also to think about what was going on for Lizzie. After several conversations, he was able to explain to Lizzie that he loved her very much but wanted to ask her to marry him on his own time. Every time she brought it up, he felt like she was telling him what to do – “like my Mom, not my future wife.” They agreed that this theme of Lizzie acting like his Mom and Dave acting like a kid was something they needed to work on in their relationship in general. But now that they had a way of talking and thinking about why he was dragging his heels, Lizzie actually didn’t feel the need to keep pressuring him anymore!

Janie’s friends offered her a variety of techniques for saying “no” to guys, from “ghosting” or simply not answering their calls, which she said she could never do, to saying nicely but firmly that she simply didn’t think it was going to work. “It’s just part of the process,” she realized. “It’s not me being a mean or bad person.”

Larry also talked to a couple of friends who were not part of the drinking group. They told him that they just saw it as a waste of their time. “You spend a ton of money on something that leaves you feeling miserable and that affects your performance the next day,” they told him. “And the truth is, those guys won’t even notice if you don’t go. They’re just pushing you because they want the company.” To Larry’s amazement, they were right. He simply said that he couldn’t do it the next time, and after a couple of tries to change his mind, the other guys left him alone. And there was no change in the way they treated him at work. “I don’t even know that they realized I wasn’t there in the end,” he said.

Sometimes, “no” is the wrong word

Susie’s situation was a little different. In her case, after talking to several friends who supported her indignation – “you weren’t hired as a gofer or a maid!” said one, and “they wouldn’t do that to a guy,” said another – Susie talked to an older mentor, who said that in fact they would and had done exactly the same with male interns, that she was at the very bottom of the ladder, and that if she hung in there and made herself as useful as possible, not just in menial tasks but also doing research for projects and even, when appropriate, offering thoughts or ideas about current and future projects, she would soon find herself moving up the ladder. Her mentor said that she was not encouraging her to make herself into a doormat or that she accept inappropriate demands, but that in this particular case saying “no” would be counterproductive. And she then pointed to two senior members of the staff and said that they had each been interns at one time – and had each cleaned the fridge and brought coffee to the other staff.

F. Diane Barth L.C.S.W.Off the Couch

Better Is One Day

I love music! I believe music is an international language -- you can understand the mood/feeling of the music even if you don't understand the language.  So, anytime I find something that I like I share with you guys.   


So check out Elex from Christian House Music or click on the Soundcloud song below - I think you're going to like it!






Elex is the stage name for American female DJ/Producer & vocalist Danielle Tambellini. With a background in piano and songwriting, Elex specializes in electronic production, infusing pop and R&B to create a unique sound, accompanied by her melodic vocals. Launching her artist project in 2014, Elex has released a number of commercial electronic singles, remixes, and mixtapes. Her original single “So Far From Yesterday” has received airplay on KISS FM. She also has vocal releases through both Dim Mak and Cr2 Records and has reached the top 10 on Beatport on the feature track “Seasons” by PeaceTreaty. Shortly after, she received airplay and was mentioned on Tiesto’s Clublife podcast. She also released a number of remixes and live mixes through Clubkillers – the Itunes podcast and website hosted by KISS FM DJ Alex Dreamz. Elex also branched into the film sector, where she has co-produced multiple songs, one of which was placed in the end credits of the Samuel L. Jackson film “Kite”. 

On a performance level, Elex has travelled both locally and internationally, performing in front of large audiences. In 2014, she was sponsored by Heineken to perform across the globe at the largest clubs

Be Brave Enough to Change Your Story

Recently Queen Smith has been thinking a lot about the stories we tell ourselves and what we believe. Our lives support the story we believe, in other words you will end up playing the leading role to the story you accept. If you see yourself victorious you will most likely be your own hero, or if you see yourself like a victim you will play that role. The good news is we can change that with the help of the Lord and recognize what needs to change. 

2016 is going to be a beautiful year, but nothing will change if we keep the same mindset. I strongly believe this is my "year to follow through". Yes…..follow through! I have had many dreams that I want to see come to life, but for years I have been sitting back waiting for God/Superman/Hero for that extra push. 

Teens and Co-Occurring Issues with Eating Disorders

At Rosewood, our specialty is the treatment of eating disorders(link is external).  However, very rarely does someone present with just an eating disorder.  It is common that comorbid issues are also present.  Dr. Nicole Garber, Rosewood’s Chief of Pediatric and AdolescentEating Disorders, shares her expertise on teens and self-injurious behavior – a common co-occurring issue with teens and eating disorders.  

Typical Scenario

Maria comes into the office with her mother. Maria looks tired and will not make eye contact as she sits down. Before the door is even closed, her mother says in almost hysteric tones, “Show her, show her what you have been doing!” Hesitantly Maria pushes up the sleeve of her shirt to reveal several linear, superficial cuts that were self-inflicted. Her mother sits down looking frustrated and says “I just don’t understand, how she can be hurting herself”.

The above is a scene that clinicians deal with on a daily basis. Self-injury, or more formally Non-suicidal Self-injury (NSSI), is common in teenagers with anywhere from 8-61% of the population engaging in self-injurious behaviors. The 8% estimate is from community estimates, and the higher end of the spectrum is from patients seeking mental health services. The average age of onset for self-injury is between 14 and 15 years old and earlier in adolescents.  Girls self-injure more than boys, but the rates become more equal through the later adolescence period.

What is NSSI?

NSSI is defined as “Direct and deliberate destruction of body tissue in the absence of any observable intent to die”. (Nock) One must ask about the intent of the injury and not assume on way or the other.

Why do young people self-injure?

Often in the popular press, self-injury will be presented as a means that a young person gains attention. At times, self-injury may be used as a cry for help, but more commonly it is used to regulate emotions. A young person may self-injure when they are experiencing very intense emotions and they do not know how to self soothe in a more adaptive manner. It is known when someone self-injures there are endogenous opiates that are released that can cause the person to feel better which is part of the reason that a young person continues the behavior despite other negative consequences. Often time young people with trauma will feel numb or dissociated and will self-injure in order to ground themselves and feel something. 

What are some warning signs that my teenager may be self-injuring? 

One may notice blood stains on clothes, towels, or tissues. Often there will be frequent unexplained wounds or an increase in “accidents”. One may also notice always wearing long sleeves or pants, even if not appropriate for situations or weather. Most young people self-injure in private, so there may be more time spent alone and irritability prior to them being able to go someplace private if they are having the urge to self-harm.

What to do if my teenager is self–injuring?

If you discover your child is self-injuring, take a deep breath and take a few moments (or hours) to collect yourself. Ask your child about what you are noticing and try to take a curious and non-judgmental stance. Let them know that you realize that they must be experiencing significant pain if they are self-injuring, and that you are there for them and want to get them help. Then book an appointment with a mental health practitioner, therapist or psychiatrist, for an evaluation. Over 90% of teenagers that self-injure meet criteria for one or more psychiatric diagnosis such as depression, anxiety disorder, or conduct disorders. It is also known that self-injury in adolescents increases the risk of a suicide attempt and completing suicide.

Treatment of Self-injury:

The mental health practitioner will work with the teenager and family members to develop a treatment plan that will address the self-injury and any co-occurring disorders. Specific therapies have been developed to treat NSSI in teenagers including dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) and mentalization based treatment (MBT). Both DBT and MBT have a coherent model to understand self-injurious behaviors, employ an active therapist, balance validation with change, make a connection between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and encourage agency amongst the adolescents. 

In summary, self-injury is common in adolescents and is most often used to as a means to regulate their emotions. If you suspect your child is self-injuring, please seek an evaluation with a qualified mental health practitioner as there are effective treatments that exist.

Dena Cabrera Psy.D., CEDSSitting at the Kids Table

Profit with Passion Summit - Day 2

The Profit with Passion Summit kicked off today (Friday) and I'm so excited. There are 30+ speakers and each one has something special to share.  Registration to attend is FREE -- click here -- to be taken to the registration page.

Check out the line up for Saturday, January 30, 2016 to see which speakers you'd like to visit.

West coast folks -- the times are ET not PT so please remember to make the time change for your calendar.

Again, visit my link http://profitwithpassionsummit.com/?ap_id=drangela to register for FREE. Enjoy!

The Strange (But Effective) Way I Stick to Hard Goals

There’s a saying that you should never trust a skinny chef. By that logic, you should never trust an out of shape behavioral designer(link is external).

Over the past four years, I’ve discovered many incredible ways to hack my habits and improve my life. I have taught myself to love running, dramatically improved my diet and found the focus to write a bestselling book(link is external). Understanding how the mind works and using it to affect my daily behaviors has yielded tremendous dividends.

However, there is one goal that’s nagged at me for years that despite my best efforts, I’ve never been able to achieve—going to the gym consistently. I hate lifting weights. Hate it. I disdain the strain, the sweat, the smells—all of it. The only thing I like about working out are the results. Unfortunately, there’s no way to enjoy the benefits of going to the gym without, you know, actually going to the gym.

That’s not to say building muscle is all that important. Diet has a much greater impact(link is external) on body weight and health than exercise. But given that I’ve already hacked my diet and no longer struggle with eating right, I wanted to finally get to the bottom of this stubborn challenge.

Why was this one goal so hard to achieve? If I could figure out a way to overcome this challenge, perhaps it would provide insights into how to tackle other difficult to achieve goals.

Habits vs. Routines—There is a Difference

Recently, it seems habits are everywhere. A slew of new books, not to mention countless blog posts and apps, guarantee a whole new you by harnessing the power of habits. However, almost all of these well intentioned authors promise too much. Many over-prescribe habits as a solution to problems they just can’t fix.

So what are habits, really? According to Dr. Benjamin Gardner, a psychologist focusing on habit research at King’s College London, “habit works by generating an impulse to do a behavior with little or no conscious thought.” Habits are simply how the brain learns to do things without deliberation. These impulses can be put to good use, but only certain behaviors can become habits.

Building a habit is relatively simple—just harness the impulse. For new habits to take hold, provide a clear trigger, make the behavior easy to do, and ensure it occurs frequently. For example, by completely removing unhealthy food from my home and eating the same thing every morning, my diet became a healthy habit. I extracted the decision making process out of what I eat at home.

However, if the behavior requires a high degree of intentionality, effort, or deliberation, it is not a habit. Although proponents of habits tout them as miracle cures for doing things we’d rather not do, I’m sorry to say that’s snake oil. All sorts of tasks aren’t habits and never will be. By definition, doing things that are effortful aren’t habits.

Unfortunately, this means behaviors that require hard work and deliberate practice aren’t good candidates for habit-formation. For example, although I make time for it every day, writing is not a habit. Writing is hard work. If I waited for an “impulse” to write, I’d never do it. To get better at writing requires concentration and directed effort to make sense of the words as they go from the research to my head and then to the screen. Similarly, lifting weights isn’t a habit because getting stronger requires working harder.

So if these type of behaviors aren’t habits, what are they? They’re routines. A routine is a series of behaviors regularly practiced. Routines don’t care if you feel an urge or not, they just need to get done. When I finally realized I would never succeed at making going to the gym a habit, I began looking for how to establish a routine instead.

Burn or Burn

A word of warning. Before I share one technique I used to finally get myself to go to the gym regularly, I need to share a few disclaimers.

First, this technique, as effective as it is, can be dangerous. It is a very good way to get you to do a routine but provides no safeguards against doing the wrong thing again and again. If you’re doing something counterproductive, this technique will only get you to do more of it. For example, doing tons of sit-ups won’t help you (and may actually hurt you) if you’re also drinking sugary sodas every day.

Second, this method is not good for getting other people to do things. This is for personal use only so don’t try and force it on people who have to do what you tell them, like employees or your kids.

Finally, this isn’t the only method you can use and admittedly this is a rather brute force strain of behavior change. If learning to love a behavior is an option, I recommend trying a different technique. For example, I’ve written about finding your MEA – your Minimum Enjoyable Action(link is external). The MEA method is great for simple behaviors you enjoy doing. I learned to love running because I always enjoyed going on walks. Finding my MEA proved very effective at slowly improving my stamina until running replaced walking as an enjoyable pastime.

However, there are certain things we just don’t like doing, but we must do anyway. These behaviors require diligence, grit, hard work and consistency. This is where what I call the “burn or burn” technique comes in.

How it Works

1. Pick your routine. For me, my routine was hitting the gym.
2. Book your time. Make time in your schedule for the routine. If you don’t reserve the time as you would booking an appointment or important meeting, the routine won’t happen.
3. Find a crisp $100 bill. Other denominations will work too but it has to be an amount you’d hate to lose.
4. Find a lighter.
5. Buy a wall calendar and place it somewhere you’ll see every day. My calendar is in my closet and it’s the first thing I see when I get dressed in the morning.
6. Tape the $100 bill to today’s date in the calendar and place the lighter somewhere visible near the wall calendar.

Now you have a choice to make. Everyday, when the time comes to do your routine, you can chose either option A and do the routine, which in my case was to feel the “burn” in the gym, or option B and literally burn your money. You can’t give the money to someone or buy something with it, you have to set it aflame.

Yes, I know it’s technically illegal to destroy government tender but the reason this technique works is that you should never have to actually burn the money. Instead, the threat of watching your money go up in smoke makes this technique work. I’ve been on “burn or burn” for six months now and I haven’t burned a bill yet.

Why it Works

As radical as “burn or burn” sounds, there’s good science to support why it’s so effective. For one, it’s no surprise we hate losing money. But why not pay yourself for doing the routine instead of taking money away? Social scientists tell us humans feel the psychological pain of loss twice as powerfully as the satisfaction of a gain—a phenomenon known as “loss aversion.”

Furthermore, people are notoriously awful at predicting their future actions. “Sure, I’ll go to the gym tomorrow,” I’d say, but when tomorrow came, I’d find an excuse. The theory of hyperbolic discounting helps explain why what we say we will do in the future is not what we do when the time comes to actually do it. We are “present-biased,” meaning we fail to properly value benefits we won’t realize for some time. These psychological tendencies conspire to keep us from doing the things we know we should.

The “burn or burn” technique works by binding us to a financially painful contract so we can’t weasel out of it when the task needs to get done. In fact, a similar technique was shown to be amazingly effective at helping smokers kick their addiction to cigarettes. The study, published in the New England Journal of Medicine(link is external), found that when smokers were asked to risk their own money, they were much more likely to quit.

Unfortunately, the researchers in the smoking study found that very few smokers would agree to risk their money. Perhaps these test subjects knew that if they wagered their own cash, they’d have to actually stop smoking, something they likely did not want to do.

I too struggled with starting “burn or burn” because I knew it meant I’d have to actually do the uncomfortable work. Then, I finally realized how ridiculous this line of thinking was. Why would I resist a technique that virtually guaranteed I would accomplish my goal?

If I wasn’t ready to commit, then I should forget the goal altogether. But if I really wanted it, I should gladly put money on the line to make sure I’d do the heavy lifting. After several weeks of difficult deliberation, I finally made my decision. I nailed the calendar to my wall, taped my money to the date, and put my lighter on the shelf where it still sits today and every day.

Nir EyalAutomatic You

Living a Fulfilled Life

What does it mean to live a fulfilled life? Many will say look at the material items accumulated, others look to the number of friends, while others yet, contend it is simply how happy your family is at any given time. There are certain actions one can take to insure that no matter the algorithm used you will end up on the happier side of life.

Join me as we look at five tips for living a more fulfilled life.

BONUS INTERVIEW: Eleze "Lisa" Thomas-McMillan author of Living Fulfilled The Infectious Joy of Serving Others
SHOW SPONSOR: Inspirational Productions
 MUSIC SPONSOR: Triumph by JaneliaSoul also available on Amazon