Intimacy with God

Having an intimate relationship with God has become such a catch phrase amongst Christians, but what does it really mean?

Christians can have a thriving business, school or ministry without a thriving relationship with God, but only temporarily. Anyone can "fake it 'till you make it," but to go the distance, you need a constant devotional life and continual closeness to God.

LISTEN IN as we discuss action items for creating a personal intimacy with God.

I Want A New Marriage

Surprise! Marriage isn’t always a "happily ever after" afterall; At some point nearly every married person thinks "something needs to change." Perhaps you don’t want a new marriage, but a renewed one, a rejuvenated relationship - one with better understanding and communication.

If you've every taken a moment to look at marriage statistics and the lives of those around us it tells us that marriages need help and lots of it! Whether you’re married or single, JOIN US as we uncover the secrets to healthy, satisfying and successful marriages and relationships, as we kick off the New Year.

Tips for Finding a Good Therapist

Because every office is different, you must find the right match for you and your needs. This is a great article about tips on finding the right therapist for you.

Demystifying Therapy: 5 Insider Tips for Finding a Good Therapist 

Daniela Tempesta, LCSW
Psychotherapist, danielalcsw.com

 

It's a new year, you've set new goals, and you've decided it's time to go to therapy. Now what? Entering "find therapist" into your google search window is not going to help. There are a lot of therapists out there, but finding the right one for you can be as daunting as trying to find a good date online.

After more than 15 years of seeing a variety of therapists myself, I've had my share of bad experiences. I once met with a therapist who greeted me at the door dripping sweat and dressed like Run-D.M.C. (sans gold chain), straight from the gym. And while I don't think a therapist's outfit is a reflection of competence, I do appreciate a person who cools down first and dresses in a professional manner. And then there was the woman whose first question was "So, what's wrong with you?" Not exactly the best way to create a sense of safety.

But don't let me scare you off, I've also had amazing, life-altering, not-sure-what-I-would've-done-without-'em therapists. So even if it sounds like you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your "theraprince," the result is de



1) Ask People You Trust For Recommendations
Asking people you trust for recommendations is a great place to start. This could be a friend, family member, coworker or other health professional. If someone you trust can make a referral, this can act as a prescreening process. If you have a friend or family member who is a therapist, they would also be a good person to ask as well. Therapists tend to have good information about other reputable people.

2) Pick a Specialist if Necessary
Think about why you are seeking help and if necessary, find someone who specializes in treating your particular issue. If you are struggling with something very specific like OCD, ADHD, addiction or an eating disorder, it is very important that you see someone who specializes in the treatment of these disorders. There are evidence-based protocols which are used specifically to successfully treat issues like those listed above. If you are seeing someone who doesn't have specific training in your issues, you might be wasting your time and money. Also, someone who claims to be an expert in everything is likely an expert in nothing. The field of mental health is just too broad for any of us to be experts in all issues, so beware of someone who claims such things.

3) Use the Web, But Don't Be Limited By It
The web is a great resource for locating and learning more about local therapists. Psychology Today has a comprehensive listing of therapists and allows you to search based on several different factors. To be listed on Psychology Today, therapists must prove that they have an advanced degree and up-to-date professional license. You can read profiles or click through to individual therapist websites. If you are immediately turned off by someone's tone, listen to your gut and keep searching. Just make sure you are looking in industry-appropriate locations. For example, Yelp is great for restaurants, but the same principle doesn't apply to therapy. Finding a good therapist is a lot more nuanced than finding out which restaurant makes the best duck-fat fried Brussels sprouts.

4) Interview People Who Might Seem Like a Good Fit
Once you've narrowed down your list of potentials, give them a call. Get a feel for what they are like on the phone. Do you feel comfortable talking with them? Do they seem interested and empathetic? In addition, you might ask the following questions:

A) What is your style like?
This is important. Even if someone is a very skilled therapist, his or her style may not jive with yours. Try to get a feel for what it would be like to be in the room with the person. Are they active and engaged or will you be doing most of the majority of talking? Will they be giving you homework or will all the "work" happen in the sessions themselves?

B) Do you have experience working with my issue? If we were working together on this issue what can I expect?
You want to make sure that the therapist has familiarity and is comfortable working with the issue that brought you to therapy.

C) What is your theoretical orientation?
There are many different schools of thought in psychology and each therapist approaches problems differently based on their training and theoretical orientation. For example, a psychodynamic therapist might focus on childhood history, dreams and the unconscious roots of your behavior, while a cognitive behavioral therapist will help you identify problematic thoughts and help you shift those thoughts and their resulting behaviors. There are many different ways to approach the same issue, and while you may have no idea specifically what style you want or need, make sure that what the therapist is proposing is something that sounds aligned to your personality and needs.


5) The Relationship Is More Important Than the Resume
Don't be overly focused on finding someone with long list of accomplishments. Just because a therapist has written several books or has a busy public speaking schedule, it doesn't mean that they are the right fit for you. Research has found that the most effective therapists build strong therapeutic relationships with their clients and have highly developed interpersonal skills including warmth, acceptance, empathy and the ability to accurately identify how a client is feeling. So give more weight to how you feel in the room with the therapist, rather than their list of accomplishments.
Now that you are armed with strategies for finding a great fit I wish you the best of luck in your search. I hope you find the therapeutic experience as rewarding and life altering as I have. Happy therapist hunting!

 

Client vs. Patient

A few days ago, I learned that many of the shop people that I dealt with in the neighborhood, didn't realize my profession until one simple conversation in Nordstrom's Rack.

"Good afternoon Angela, how are you today?" she asked. "Having a great day; full day of clients this afternoon." I said feeling good about having completed my morning tasks, which allowed me time to look around and shop before starting my work day.

She then looked at me without batting and eye lash, "Where do you do hair?" she said. The question assumed that I was a hair stylist or cosmetologist. "I don't do hair, I'm a counselor." I replied, with a confused look on my face.

She quickly says, "I'm sorry, I thought,...you said clients." And then it hit me. She now fumbles with my credit cards trying to get me out of her line as fast as possible.  I responded, "I can understand that. You're right, I don't say patients, I say clients." Trying to reassure her.

It wasn't until she actually looked at my card to see that it read, Dr. Angela. Now, when she sees me, her greeting is "Morning Doc!"

I say that to say this -- there is a reason for the difference in usage of name for me and my office. A mind set that hopefully not only affects how I deal with the people who use my services, but how they think of themselves as well.

I use the word “client”, not “patient," because the word “patient” can imply a medical model in which the doctor works on and heals the patient, and the patient more passively receives the treatment. Pastoral Counseling is different; it involves your active participation. You hire me, and we work together.

The medical terminology of "patient" also implies that you are sick in your body - those who need help versus those who do not. I prefer to think of it as walking along a path and the occasional loosing of your footing: sometimes walking along the sure path, and sometimes walking along the overgrown, dead end path. It is during those times that you seek out my assistance.

So, I will only call those who visit with me - clients.
"Not accepting patients at this time."

GROUP - Anger Management Mornings

Do you have a short fuse or find yourself getting into frequent arguments and fights? Anger is a very powerful emotion that can stem from feelings of frustration, hurt, annoyance, or disappointment.

Learn anger management techniques that will help you improve your personal and family relationships, relationships with co-workers, or deal with what's bothering you.

==REGISTER NOW==
4 WEEKS FRIDAYS ONLY
$15 per class $60 Total
Fridays June 7, 2013 to June 28, 2013                                                                                11:00 AM until 12:00 PM (PDT) 
http://angryman.eventbrite.com/#

GROUP - Dealing with Anxiety

We all spend too much time worrying about things that will never materialize. And this worry only makes our lives unnecessarily complicated and painful. Learn how to deal with what you're feeling. 

This is a group setting. Other will be there who share your experience and understand.

== Register Now ==

Friday Evenings:  
June 7 - June 28 from 7:00pm until  8:00pm
http://anxietynights-efbevent.eventbrite.com/

Friday Mornings:
July 5th - July 26 11:00am until 12:00pm
http://morninganxiety.eventbrite.com/

Can Pain Medication Be Harmful?

For many suffering with acute and chronic pain the doctor will prescribe opiates (such as Vicodin, morphine, heroin, and codeine). These medications modify a person's sensation to pain, by causing a sense of joy and euphoria via the pleasure centers of the brain.  Because of that, your doctor may need to adjust your medication.  Adjustments will be made as your condition changes up or down. In most cases, when your medication is taken as directed they are safe and rarely lead to dependency.

When abuse of medication occurs, physical dependence to the opiate is extremely likely.  Attempts to reduce or quit the medication suddenly can cause withdrawal symptoms: vomiting, diarrhea, nausea joint and muscle pain.  Contact your doctor immediately of this occurs.

Are you abusing or misusing your medication?  Answer the following:

• Have you considered or do you by medication from others?
• Have you attempted or wish to purchase the medication from the internet where lenient requirements are in place?
• In the past 12 months have you used your pain medication in amounts other than those required?

If you answered yes, please take a moment to speak with your doctor about the risks.

Happy Thanksgiving from New Life Pastoral Counseling

6 Ways Social Security Will Change in 2013

Including in being a Christian Life Coach, you always want your clients to be aware of the current changes to anything that may affect them - long or short term. Considering the busy schedule of most people, this article may has slipped your review: 

By Emily Brandon | U.S.News & World Report LP 



Social Security recipients will get slightly bigger checks in 2013. The Social Security Administration also recently announced several other ways the program will be tweaked in the coming year. Here's a look at the Social Security changes workers and retirees will experience next year:

[See 12 Ways to Increase Your Social Security Payments.]

Bigger monthly payments. Social Security payments will increase by 1.7 percent in 2013. That's considerably less than the 3.6 percent cost of living adjustment retirees received in 2012. Social Security payments are adjusted each year to reflect inflation as measured by the Consumer Price Index for Urban Wage Earners and Clerical Workers. Previous inflation adjustments have ranged from zero in 2010 and 2011 to 14.3 percent in 1980. The average Social Security check is expected to increase by $21 as a result of the change from $1,240 before the cost of living adjustment to $1,261 after. Couples will see their benefit payments grow from an average of $2,014 to $2,048.

Payroll tax cut scheduled to expire. Workers will pay 6.2 percent of their income into the Social Security system in 2013, up from 4.2 percent in 2012. The temporary payroll tax cut expires at the end of December 2012 under current law.

Higher Social Security tax cap. The maximum amount of earnings subject to Social Security taxes will be $113,700 in 2013, up from $110,100 in 2012. Approximately 10 million people will pay higher taxes as a result of the increase in the taxable maximum.

Increased earnings limit. Retirees who work and collect Social Security benefits at the same time will be able to earn $480 more next year before any portion of their Social Security payment will be withheld. Social Security recipients who are younger than their full retirement age (66 for those born between 1943 and 1954) can earn up to $15,120 in 2013, after which $1 of every $2 earned will be temporarily withheld from their Social Security payments. For retirees who turn 66 in 2013, the limit will be $40,080, after which $1 of every $3 earned will be withheld. Once you turn your full retirement age you can earn any amount without penalty and collect Social Security benefits at the same time. At your full retirement age your monthly payments will also be adjusted to reflect any benefits that were withheld and your continued earnings.

Maximum possible benefit grows. The maximum possible Social Security benefit for a worker who begins collecting benefits at their full retirement age will be $2,533 in 2013, up from $2,513 per month in 2012.

Paper checks will end. The U.S. Treasury will stop mailing paper checks to Social Security beneficiaries on March 1, 2013. All federal benefit recipients must then receive their payments via direct deposit to a bank or credit union account or loaded onto a Direct Express Debit MasterCard. Retirees who do not choose an electronic payment option by March 1 will receive their payments loaded onto a pre-paid debit card. Most people already receive their benefit payments electronically, and new Social Security recipients have been required to choose an electronic payment option since 2011.

Ga. Man Shaves Head to Support Wife, Finds His Own Cancer

As a breast cancer survivor, I always love a story of triumph, endurance and victory. Please read the story below by Suzan Clarke:
 

By Suzan Clarke | ABC News Blogs 

(

Photo Courtesy: Dolly Stringer) 

When Dolly Stringer was diagnosed with breast cancer in April, she decided to take control and shave her head before she began chemotherapy.

Now, the Moultrie, Ga., woman believes she got cancer for a reason: to save her husband's life.

To show solidarity with Stringer, her husband, Bud, decided to shave his head. His family members were curious about the black patch on his newly-shaved pate.

"And I said 'you know, I'm sure that's a birthmark,' but I didn't realize I had one so I called my mom and she said 'no, it's not a birthmark, you didn't have one,'" Bud Stringer told ABC News in an interview on Monday.

He decided it was a mole, but a biopsy proved him wrong: it was stage three malignant melanoma, an aggressive form of skin cancer.

RELATED: Cancer survivor's wife makes unusual donation to Connecticut hospital
The Stringers, who have a son who's 12 and another who's 10, were stunned. They had never had any health problems before.
 
(Photo Courtesy: Dolly Stringer) 
 "I was just really in shock and Bud was, too … and I was just devastated, because it's one thing to have it yourself, that I could handle, but to know that Bud was going to have to go through what I was going through, and worse?" Dolly, 47, said.

Dolly had had several surgeries since her stage three breast cancer diagnosis, and completed her eighth - and final round - of chemotherapy last week. She is preparing to start six and a half weeks of radiation treatment.

Bud's treatment will be more intense. Since his cancer is so aggressive, his treatment will have to be as well. Diagnosed in August, he's already had two extensive surgeries, and is preparing to start a year of chemotherapy. Bud said he'll have chemotherapy five days a week for the first month, and will do self-injections of chemo for 11 months after that.

Despite their troubles, the two - married for nearly 20 years - are upbeat.

"The surgeons down at Moffitt (Cancer Center in Tampa, Fla.), they all feel very positive about the eventual outcome, that it will be very good," Bud said.

Dolly's prognosis is also good. She said her doctor told her she had a "garden-variety" type of cancer. She believes her illness has a greater purpose.

"I now know that I had to have that to save Bud's life, because he would have been - the doctor told me that I would have been burying him probably by Christmas" if the melanoma hadn't been diagnosed and treated, she said, adding, "We just have so, so much to be thankful for."
Bud, 48, agreed.

"I'm not a Bible-thumper, I am a Christian, but I really feel like God's hand shaved my head. I really do … If Dolly had not lost her hair - or chosen to shave her head - I never would have found this … ," he said.

Dolly said when Bud was initially diagnosed she grew very worried. He runs a small business, Rose City Glass in Thomasville, Ga., and since she was sick, he was the primary breadwinner for the family. Dolly is a therapist for an addiction hospital, and although she has health insurance through her job, she has had to work less because of her treatment.

But the Stringers were not without support.

After Bud's diagnosis, "People started coming out of the woodwork," Dolly said.
Those supporters have done the couple's lawn, helped clothe their children, and even sent food for their dogs.

Over the weekend, members of the pair's church organized a 5K run, expecting to raise about $5,000. They took in more than $40,000, Dolly said. The church, First Presbyterian of Moultrie, continues to accept donations for the Stringers.

The generosity has been overwhelming, and Dolly said it has brought her some peace.

"I could see very quickly that our needs were going to be provided for … We're going to be okay, the children are going to be okay," she said. "It's just been amazing. I mean every day we just we just find ourselves going 'thank you,' and it just doesn't feel like enough."

The Stringers want to raise awareness about cancer, particularly about melanoma. Prior to his diagnosis, Bud's head had been itching, Dolly said. She checked his head, but he had very dark hair, so she didn't see anything, she said.

"What we love … is that people are saying 'I went and got a mammogram because of this and 'I went to get a head-to-toe check with my dermatologist.'

"We even had a man that shaved his head just because he wanted to make sure," she said.

Day 13 (40 days of Prayer - Election)

Evening and morning and at noon

I will pray, and cry aloud,

And He shall hear my voice.

Psalm 55:17

Father,

We exalt our praise and adoration to You all throughout the day and night!  May we never forget that You are merciful and gracious, and that You, our Creator, receive our devotion and prayers with an attentive, listening ear. Give us eyes to see the splendor on Your holiness and ears to hear the majesty of Your voice as You lead us to holy and righteous living.

Day 12 (40 days of Prayer - Election)

The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my 

deliverer;

My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised;

So shall I be saved from my enemies.

Psalm 18:2-3

Lord,

You are the rock and strength of this nation.  You are the only one who can deliver us form our enemies.  We trust in You and pray humbly for Your guidance and direction for this great nation.  Give us wisdom to make right choices.  Help us to live in such a way that Your name will be honored in all things.  May You forever be praised.

Day 11 (40 days of Prayer - Election)

Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weakness. For we do not kow what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groaning which cannot be uttered.  Romans 8:26
 
Thank you, Lord, for the gifts of Your Spirit who continually helps us overcome our weaknesses.  We confess that all things are possible through You and nothing is possible without You!  Open our hearts and intercede with the Father that we many humble ourselves in Your presence.  We thank You for Your forgiveness. Strengthen us to live with purpose and empower us to serve you.