Thursday, October 4, 2018

Oh What A Love

For God’s Glory Christian Band is an alternative contemporary Christian group from the Mid-Hudson Valley region of NY State. Songs in the band’s catalog honor the universal existence of our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. The band’s compositions, both instrumentals and songs with lyrics, are inspiring, anointing, and heartfelt. 

You can receive a FREE song download to checkout For God’s Glory Christian Band’s music. Download a FREE MP3 version of one of the band’s original songs entitled: “Oh What a Love” from the band’s “Love Worthy of Praise” album and learn more about the group with a free email subscription.
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Thursday, September 20, 2018

A PUSHed Woman

This blog offers women a place to find hope, peace and a strengthened relationship with God. Regardless of whatever challenges life has thrown at you, this is the place to find renewal and encouragement. Let's Pray Until Something Happens (P.U.S.H.) together, and make sure to read the author's three-part P.US.H. story!

Also, don't forget to subscribe!
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Saturday, August 25, 2018

Replacing Your Negative Thoughts

Replace Your Negative Thoughts with Transforming Thoughts of Joy, Passion and Purpose

The Faith in Focus audio CD works to effectively transform beliefs that “sabotage” you into beliefs that “support” you—quickly and easily. This powerful audio program uses simple, faith-inspiring words adapted directly from the Holy Scriptures that change your actual thought processes and reinforce your beliefs about how God sees you and who you really are —a precious and valued member of God’s family.

The subconscious mind is our storehouse of all past experiences, values, attitudes, and beliefs. Old, painful emotions get stored as programs in your subconscious mind, where they hamper your responses to life. Now imagine being able to tap into that same program, dropping in one positive thought after another—that’s the power of Faith in Focus.

If you want to live your life as God wants you to live it—with joy, passion, and purpose—- then this audio program can be an important catalyst for that transformation. Ultimately, the happiness we experience in our life depends on the quality of our thoughts; therefore, we must guard them accordingly.

The Faith in Focus audio CD is available at:

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Saturday, August 4, 2018

Holyart: Saint John Paul II

Saint Pope John Paull II
Pope and Saint
(1920 - 2005) 

Religious Magnets: John Paul II magnet - eng. 03Pope and Saint John Paul II, was born Karol Józef Wojtyła on May 18, 1920, in Wadowice, Poland to a prosperous and Catholic family. His father was an officer in the army.  The future Pope had a happy childhood and he loved sports. He was also an excellent student, however, most of his family died by the then he was twenty.  The young Karol attended the best university in Poland. During World War II, Poland was invaded and they closed the universities and Karol was forced to work as a laborer. During a rebellion by the Poles against the Nazis, he was very lucky not to have been shot. During the war, he saw many terrible things and he drew ever closer to God.

During the German occupation, he saved the several Jews from death at the hands of the Nazis. He was later honored in Israel for his bravery and courage in saving these people.

At the end of the war, the future Pope continued his studies and he was ordained a priest in 1946. He was a brilliant young man and he was sent to Rome to study further. Father Karol as he was known then, returned to Poland and worked as a parish priest in rural Poland. He was very happy as a parish priest and would later recall this time as being especially happy.

Poland was now ruled by Communists who hated all religions. The secret agents and police would spy on and harass Catholics, including the future Pope John Paul. In 1958 at a very young age John Paul was appointed Archbishop. Now, he defended Catholics against the communists even though it meant that he was often in real danger.

The young Pope John Paul had a brilliant mind and was invited by the Pope to take part in the Second Vatican Council.  The future Pope wrote several important Encyclicals. These were very significant in that they forbade Catholics from using contraception. One of the future Pope’s Encyclicals stated that it was a mortal sin for any believer to get an abortion. Pope John Paul wrote a great deal and his books are still read today.  He greatly impressed the Pope and in 1967, John Paul was elected a Cardinal. The future Pope was in effect the leader of the Catholic Church in Poland and he did much to help his homeland and defend the church from attacks by the communists.

After the sudden death of Pope John Paul I, he was elected Pope. He took the name Pope John Paul II out of respect for his predecessor. He was the first Pope from outside Italy in over four centuries.
John Paul immediately began to change the Papacy. He wanted to be a ‘people’ s Pope’. He traveled widely and visited many countries.  He was hugely popular among Catholics and non-Catholics. Pope John Paul would attack all forms of social injustice and tyranny.

This was to have important consequences in his homeland. The fact that the Pope was Polish inspired many Poles to resist communism. Because of this in 1980 the Soviet Union tried to kill the Pope. Despite being shot several times, the Pope managed to survive by a miracle.  This only made him more popular and he inspired even more people in Eastern Europe to resist their communist governments. Many believe that this led to the end of communism in Europe in 1989.

As Pope, he often attacked the greed of western society.  He was also a peacemaker and condemned all forms of violence.

John Paul was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease in the late 1990s.  Still he continued to work and continued to travel. Despite being in great pain he was cheerful and he inspired many. Pope John Paul II refused to retire and continued as Pope until his death in 2005. His death was widely mourned all over the world.

Not long after he died there were many miracles reported. Many people who had prayed to the dead Pope claimed that they had been healed of serious diseases. Because of all these miracles Pope John Paul was beatified and he was canonized a saint in 2014. He was one of the most popular Popes in history and many call him Pope John Paul the Great.

There are a wide range of religious items online including items on John Paul II. If you would like to know more you can buy some books online about John Paul II.

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Wednesday, July 25, 2018

I Love You, But I Am Leaving You

“I Love You, But I Am Leaving You”

When love is not all you need.

“I’m sorry, I love you, but I have to leave you. You were the right choice, but not my ‘happy’ choice.” —Hallie Mantegna
What?! Did I hear you correctly? If you love me, why are you leaving me? I am definitely missing a piece of this puzzle. But, as it turns out, you may not be missing anything.
Sometimes, love and life clash. Usually, this conflict can be traced to one of two issues: (1) romantic reasons that have to do with the nature of one’s love, and (2) reasons concerning the flourishing life of the partners.
1. "I love you, but not strongly enough."
“There is a difference between someone who wants you and someone who would do anything to keep you. Actions speak louder than wishes.” Unknown
Romantic love is not an all-or-nothing attitude—it comes in different degrees. Some degrees are good enough for having an affair for a few weeks or months, but not sufficient for sustaining long-term love (Ben-Ze’ev & Krebs, 2018).
Examples of common reasons in this group are:
“I found a new lover”;
“In the past, I have loved someone more strongly than I love you”;
“I am happy with you in the short term (great romantic intensity), but I do not see prospects for the long term” (not much romantic profundity);
“We are great sexual partners, but not good friends”;
“We are profound friends, but not great sexual partners”;
“There are major flaws in your behavior preventing me from trusting you and feeling calm with you”;
“I cannot give you the love you deserve”; or more bluntly, “My feelings toward you are not strong enough.”
The reasons in this group are mainly comparative—indicating a lower level of love or romantic suitability. The above differences are often associated with the (ambiguous) statement, “I love you, but I am not in love with you,” which is another claim that has ended many marriages and other committed relationships.  Here, there is some degree of love, but that degree is not sufficient—at least not when compared to other available options.
2. "I love you but cannot live with you."
“Look, I hate good-byes, too. But sometimes, we need them just to survive.” Rachel Caine, Fall of Night
“If I should stay, I would only be in your way, So I’ll go, but I will always love you.” Dolly Parton (and later, Whitney Houston and others)
Long-term romantic relationships should take into account non-romantic factors concerning the living together of the two partners. Loving someone is not always sufficient for deciding to live with someone. Living together and establishing a family together certainly require love—but much more than that. They require the ability to help each other flourish.
Examples of common reasons in this group are:
“You cannot help me to flourish as you do not bring out the best in me”;
“I cannot help you to flourish—on the contrary, being with me blocks your flourishing”;
“We are not suitable for building a long-term, thriving life together”;
“You are not a good father, husband, or provider (though you may be a great lover)”.
In this group of reasons, the degree of love is sufficient for supporting enduring love, but not enduring living together. People sometimes prefer thriving in life over love—it can come down to their own thriving or that of their partner.
An illustration of the first kind is the case of a married woman who said that she loved her first husband very much, but something was missing in their relationship that made her decide to divorce him: “There was nothing wrong with him,’ she said, “but nevertheless I felt that self-fulfillment would not be part of my life. He would not block it, but he will not bring out the best in me. With my second husband, I have many fights, but I do feel his profound passion and ability to bring out the best in me.” This woman chose losing her first husband over losing herself.
An example of preferring the partner’s thriving over love is the case of a partner who, out of profound love, ends a relationship saying that staying together would make his or her beloved miserable in the long term. This is the theme of the popular song “I will always love you,” which many consider the greatest love song of all time. In taking into account this reality, we sometimes hear of a partner, out of profound love, ending a relationship out of concern that staying together would make his or her beloved miserable in the long term. In this case, ending the relationship expresses a genuine interest in the other’s profound well-being.
Is Love All We Need?
“All you need is love.” The Beatles
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” Charles Schulz
Romantic love has a very positive impact upon one’s life—this is expressed in many ways, such as happiness, flourishing and health. For some people, it is the engine that drives their lives forward. However, people need more than love to flourish. For love to thrive and endure, we need a good-enough living framework. When romantic love thrives, it can contribute to a more general feeling of thriving. Sometimes, however, love and life conflict.
And so, we can find ourselves asking: Which takes precedence: love or life? This can be a hard call. At one extreme, one might sacrifice life for love (let’s remember Romeo and Juliet). At the other, one might sacrifice love for life (remaining in a loveless, but otherwise comfortable, marriage, for example). Of course, most of us make romantic decisions that fall somewhere between these harrowing poles. It is the strength of love, the nature of the life-demands, and the degree of conflict between them, which dictate exactly where we wind up on that continuum.
When intense desire is perceived as the core of romantic love, the conflict between romantic love and life ramps up in volume. Such desire is usually brief and decreases with time. Life, by contrast, tends to last. A lover cannot be blind to life, and love does not always win. In any case, love cannot replace life. When love and life go head-to-head, love almost always loses, especially when it is based on intense desire. In the long run, it is when lovers nurture the connection between themselves and do things which enable each other to flourish that love is maintained and enhanced. That is how ties to the living framework are tightened.
“Goodbye taught me that people don’t always stay and the things that belonged to you today can belong to someone else tomorrow.” Rania Naim, Goodbye doesn’t scare me anymore
The claim that “all you need is love” indicates, as Brian Epstein, the Beatles’ manager, once said: “a clear message saying that love is everything.” Although romantic love is extremely important for our happiness and flourishing, love is neither a necessary, nor a sufficient, condition for happy and thriving life. As it turns out, love is not everything in life, though it is often a central part of it.
If indeed, love is not all we need, then it is certainly reasonable for some people to leave the one they love.
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Tuesday, July 3, 2018

You Might Find Bits of Wisdom From Unexpected Places

You Might Find Bits of Wisdom From Unexpected Places

Don’t snooze during the speech or you’ll miss an ah-ha moment.

Source: lovleah/bigstock
At this time of year we’re likely to hear some very interesting and often times wise reflections from opinion leaders in our society as they address assemblies of graduating students. Yes, a few of them drone on, but it’s worth paying attention to some of these speakers. For example, in his commencement address at Stanford University in 2005, Steve Jobs shared some of his insights on succeeding in life with a message that can benefit us all, at any age. He reminded the graduates, and in turn us, that our time here is limited and we should not waste it living someone else’s life, or version of life. That we should not allow another’s noise [opinions] drown out our own inner voice, our ideas, dreams and aspirations. That we should have the courage to follow our own heart and intuition. He advised us that we have to trust in something, and that believing the “dots will connect” later on down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart. He’s right on target!  These are important notions to share with someone who is at a transition in life, as the graduates are, and very good reminders for the rest of us. It’s as true for us at the beginning of our lives as it is during a mid-lifecourse change.
What happens if you don’t do this, if you don’t follow your own drummer and instead are corralled to chart a course mandated by another? Well, your ideas and dreams fade, as does your self-esteem and confidence. You then become vulnerable to depression, disappointment and dissatisfaction with life, and develop a negative view of the world and yourself. 
Turns out, it’s not always easy to follow your own inner voice and resist the control of others. Oftentimes, family and social pressures are so strong that we get lost in them. It can be quite difficult to stay true to yourself, who you are, your thoughts, values, skills, preferences—the things you need to achieve satisfaction and fulfillment in life. This cannot be done by following someone else’s dream of who or what you should be. 
Sometimes we know ourselves well enough and are confident enough to stand up and take charge of our own lives. Some of us are sturdy enough to resist the pressures of controlling parents, spouses or peers and be strong in our convictions. This takes courage. Some of us don’t know ourselves that well yet. Getting there is a process, it happens as we grow and mature, and it takes time. We may be at different points along that path as compared to our friends and as such should not make comparisons. Furthermore, well-meaning family members should allow us the space and freedom to find our path and grow as a person, remembering that we all stumble and make errors along the way. 
When you’re depressed, it’s easy to forget these things. It’s easy to forget your baseline sense of who you are as a person, what you want, and where you are going. All you can recall are negative thoughts and a negative sense of yourself. The urge to let this happen is quite powerful when depressed. I found a simple exercise to help with this, called "Defining Your Baseline," which I describe in chapter 3 of my book Managing Your Depression: What you can do to feel better (Hopkins, 2013). It helps you identify your strengths and weaknesses, personal preferences, beliefs, values, competencies, sense of purpose, what nourishes and energizes you. It’s a way to help you connect to your inner sense of yourself, to your baseline person. This is important to draw on as an aid in your recovery. Give it a try—you might be surprised! 
Stay well!
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Tuesday, June 12, 2018

New Single by Christian Pop Artist Kamila

Take a look at the In Studio Gospel Music Video by Christian Pop Artist KAMILA Entitled ARMOR. 

This New Worship song has already been encouraging multitudes in 2018 by reminding them that No matter what Battles we face in Life, We will not be defeated because God is still our ARMOR and Shield!!

Song available on ITunes and Google Play. Purchase today!!!
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The Defense Mechanism Most Toxic for Your Relationship

Research shows the one defense mechanism especially bad for your relationship.

From the standpoint of avoiding anxiety, it can be hard to beat a good old, ordinary, defense mechanism. If you’re angry at an important person in your life, displacement will let you take your emotions out on a safer target, such as a small rock that you kick out of your way in the sidewalk. If there’s an expensive piece of jewelry that you can’t stop thinking about, but can’t afford, repression will help you shove it out of your consciousness. There are countless other ways that defense mechanisms, when used in moderation, can actually be very adaptive.
In your relationships, though, defense mechanisms can take an unfortunate turn if used in the wrong way. Your partner wouldn’t appreciate being the target of your displaced anger and might not like it if you “repressed” your putting off unpleasant chores around the house. However, above and beyond these less than optimal uses of defense mechanisms, one stands out as particularly toxic. In the defense mechanism of projection, you attribute your own unconscious anxieties and preoccupations onto another person. You then become, naturally enough, annoyed at that person for having those same emotions and thoughts that you reject in yourself.
New research on social perception shows that projection can turn what should be empathy into an unfeeling lack of concern if your partner is in trouble. A study on stress mindsets by Tel Aviv University’s Nili Ben-Avi and collaborators (2018) shows what happens when your own attitude toward stress makes you unsympathetic to a person who is clearly undergoing strain. In one type of stress mindset, or attitude toward the stressful events in your life, you find pressure to be exhilarating, and in the other, you find it to be debilitating. The Israeli researchers believe that the way you perceive stress in your life will, in turn, affect the way you perceive that of other people. If you’re of the belief that stress is good, you’ll regard it as silly complaining when it gets to your partner, who puts in long hours full of competing demands. If you regard stress as a frame of mind to be avoided at all costs, you’ll similarly feel that your overworked partner should find a different job or at least stay away from any work tasks in the evening and weekend hours.
Ben-Avi and colleagues take an experimental social psychological approach, meaning that they don’t truly speak of “defense mechanisms” as having that same set of unconscious drivers as do psychodynamically-oriented theorists. Nevertheless, the idea of “social projection” seems to fit the classic defense mechanism approach, as you can see from this definition: “when people try to evaluate targets' thoughts, feelings, or behaviors, they often project their own corresponding states, thereby arriving at inaccurate social judgments” (p. 98). Believing that your partner feels the same way about stress as you do clearly fits into this definition of social projection.
The Israeli study showed that people high on the “stress-as-exhilirating” mindset were less likely to see a fictitious target in an online scenario as suffering from the negative effects of burnout, and to suffer ill effects on health. They also were less likely to believe that the target should stay home when ill (“presenteeism”). The way participants viewed stress also affected the way that they would make personnel decisions about the fictitious employee. If they felt that they personally thrived on stress, then they believed that employees who didn’t share this mindset shouldn’t be promoted, as they did not view the employee as potentially suffering from burnout.
An experimental manipulation that the authors conducted as part of their research involved priming participants into one of the two stress mindsets by having them think either about a time in their lives when they felt overworked or, conversely, when they felt energized. This method showed that your stress mindset can be malleable. People operating under a stress-is-enhancing mindset perceived the target as experiencing less strain and therefore as in need of less help. They also saw the target as more promotable at work. As the authors conclude, there is a dark side and a bright side regarding the interpersonal implications of the idea that stress is enhancing. The dark side is that if you believe stress is good for you, you’ll also believe it’s good for someone else and will offer less help to someone who seems to be on the verge of extreme burnout. On the bright side, though, perceiving another person as operating under high levels of stress may make you see that person as better able to handle stress and so you’ll give that person more responsibility (and maybe a promotion).
In terms of your relationships, though, the Israeli findings suggest that projection isn’t just a theoretical concept left over from the psychoanalyst’s couch. People judge others on the basis of their own preferences, self-assessments, and attitudes. As a result, it will be difficult for you to provide the kind of empathy that can help your partner feel supported and loved when work or family obligations make life particularly difficult.
To overcome the projection you may feel toward your partner, take a page from the Ben-Avi et al’s playbook and try to recall the last time you felt the way you believe your partner to be feeling. Perhaps your partner seems overly sensitive to a mutual friend’s somewhat unfortunately sarcastic jokes. If you have a tendency toward the cynical, your partner’s sensitivity may seem to be too extreme. Try to recall a time when you were the target of a similarly unfortunately comment. That teasing really did hurt you. Just remembering that incident may allow you to see the world from your partner’s own eyes. This exercise might also help you see that you’re not quite as resistant to teasing as you thought you were.
Happiness in long-term relationships depends in many ways on being able to overcome your own tendency to impose your wishes onto your partner. Projection can prevent that open-minded understanding that helps foster true communication with your partner. A simple self-check can help you avoid the projection trap and, in the process, help your relationship become that much more fulfilling.

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Monday, June 11, 2018

Monday Motivation is where I share with you 5 quotes that I found encouraging, uplifting or inspiring. I'll give you my understanding of them, and how you can make them a part of your day-to-day empowerment. 

Join me on Periscope every Monday at 9am PT / 12pm ET for #MondayMotivation. You can find them also on my YouTube page "Let's Go!" 


Now go be awesome!
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Saturday, June 9, 2018

Are Millennial Men Rejecting “Manhood”?

A major evolution is underway among millennial men and women in their values.

Douglas LaBier, Ph.D.
In this era of #MeToo, and controversy about “toxic masculinity,” some new research is very relevant: It indicates a shift is underway in how young men envision “manhood” — in their attitudes, their values, and their behavior — in their relationships, their careers, and their view of “success.”  I think we’re in the midst of a generational evolution with large-scale societal and political implications. 
To illustrate, one study (link is external)of over 600 millennial-aged men found that they are likely to be selfless, in contrast to the old “looking out for number one” attitude. They are also socially engaged with issues and causes and are highly health-conscious. 
Overall, this study from the University of British of Columbia(link is external) found that the masculine value they most strongly endorsed was selflessness. As described in this report(link is external), “Ninety-one per cent of the men agreed that a man should help other people, and 80 percent believed that a man should give back to the community. Openness also ranked highly — 88 per cent said a man should be open to new ideas, new experiences, and new people — and so did health, with a majority of participants saying that men should be healthy or in good shape.” 
Moreover, the traditionally “male” values ranked lower on the scale. They are still valued by the majority of participants, but less so than other values. For example, 75 per cent of the men said that a man should have physical strength, compared with 87 per cent who said a man should have intellectual strength, and 83 per cent who said emotional strength. Autonomy was also ranked lower, with 78 per cent saying that a man should be “independent.”
I think these findings are significant as generational shifts continue. Although the study was conducted with men from Western Canada, they likely reflect a broad, growing theme among the attitudes and values among younger people who enter adulthood in an increasingly diverse, interconnected world. As lead author John Oliffe said(link is external), they “…seem to be holding masculine values that are distinctly different from those of previous generations. These values may run counter to long-standing claims that young men are typically hedonistic, hypercompetitive, and that they risk or neglect their health.” Added co-author Nick Black(link is external), they “…are expanding their definition of masculinity to include values like openness and well-being. The study was published in Psychology of Men & Masculinity. (link is external)
We’re also witnessing the impact of millennial values — among both men and women — upon the workplace, in how they deal with their work and careers. For example, a new study(link is external) finds that millennials are prone to leave their jobs when they experience a “values gap” between themselves and the workplace culture – particularly around sustainability issues.
That’s especially notable because it contrasts with older generations. That is, many people report great dissatisfaction and dislike with their management and leadership culture, as many surveys and polls show. But most tend to suffer emotionally and physically; often frozen in place, perhaps from fear of losing what they already have, or insecurity about change.
Millennials appear to have a different mentality altogether. A summary of this new study from the University of Missouri(link is external) reports that millennials tend to job hop – something well known about them, and that older workers don’t understand. And a major reason is that they feel a disconnection between their personal values and the workplace culture. As one of the researchers, Rachel LoMonaco-Benzing explained,(link is external) “Not only did we find a gap, but we also found that workers were much more likely to leave a job if they felt their values were not reflected in the workplace.”
Co-author Jung Ha-Brookshire added(link is external) “They have been raised with a sense of pro-social, pro-environment values, and they are looking to be engaged. If they find that a company doesn’t honor these values and contributions, many either will try to change the culture or find employment elsewhere.” The researchers say that companies need to understand that the new generation of workers have high ethical and social expectations. The study was published in the journal Sustainability.(link is external)
All of these changes in values, attitudes and behavior among millennials are likely to have increasing impact on all realms of our society in the years ahead. Stay tuned!

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